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Picture the scene: you have a job that you love, working for a great company. But, this has been your life for the past five years. Surely you need to be more ambitious? Perhaps now is the right time to be moving “onward and upward”?

So, your boss recommends you for a manager role, which you take. But soon you seem to be spending all your time in meetings, and you have so much paperwork that you swear you can hear your desk creaking under the weight. Eventually you find yourself asking, “When did I become so unhappy?”

Seeking progress for the sake of progress can often leave us feeling deflated, and even more unfulfilled than we did in a lower-ranking job. So, where’s the line? Is there a conflict between ambition and happiness?

WHAT’S HAPPINESS GOT TO DO WITH IT?

For many of us, career success brings genuine happiness. But when this stops being the case, we need to re-evaluate what makes us truly happy. A promotion might bring more money and new challenges, but the trade-off could be that you spend less time at home, or you have to deal with a lot more pressure.

Many people spend their careers – and their lives – pressuring themselves to achieve more in the hope of obtaining the ‘perfect’  jobs. But, what we to focus on is creating more with doing less. Just as money doesn’t buy happiness, a high-powered job won’t always get you job satisfaction.

What Drives Us to be Ambitious?

Before we contemplate a big career move, it’s important to assess who is motivating us to move on. Often, we are our own worst critic. All it takes is that nagging feeling of self-doubt that we aren’t doing enough, and we begin to push ourselves to achieve more. But this can leave us feeling drained and disappointed if we don’t reach the goals that we set for ourselves.

Self-criticism is neither a healthy nor a productive method of career advancement. And those of us who are prone to it will likely benefit from a change of mindset (as opposed to a change of job) if we want to achieve real job satisfaction.

Alternatively, some people feel pressured to strive for bigger and better things because they fear that their peers will view them as lazy, lacking drive or enthusiasm. But, it’s important to remember that what’s right for others, isn’t always what’s right for us.

We shouldn’t rely on the fulfillment of the expected to be happy. That is to say, we shouldn’t be driven to achieve what others expect of us. Instead, we need to recognize where and when we are truly satisfied with our work.

It’s a Balancing Act

Working parents are a perfect example of well-balanced ambition. Many parents are expected to “make up for borrowed time” after returning from maternity or paternity leave. Instead, plenty of parents will strike a careful balance between their home and work lives. They will put less pressure on themselves to constantly achieve and, instead, set themselves realistic goals over a longer period of time.

They understand that in order to pursue their own family ambitions, it may take longer to reach their career goals. In this sense, it may be worth letting career ambition take a back seat to happiness. This doesn’t mean that working parents are no longer ambitious in their jobs. Rather, they work out how to reach their full career potential without making themselves miserable in the process.

Work to Live or Live to Work?

By remembering that there is more to life than work, we can alleviate some of the pressure that we, and others, put on ourselves to achieve.

That said, we should never underestimate the power of ambition. It’s an invaluable source of motivation, and it can help us to accomplish the goals that matter most to us. Nonetheless, we should beware the dangers of being over-ambitious. This can force you into a job that you don’t really want, and may greatly damage your home life. The ability to recognize what does and doesn’t make you happy can be the difference between under- and over-stretching yourself. So, in short, be careful what you wish for.

Have you ever experienced the negative impact of over-ambition? Or maybe you’ve felt pushed to take a promotion you didn’t really want?

Here are some tips on how to balance ambition and happiness in a healthy way:

Rediscover Your Mission

It can be easy to become so unshakably transfixed on achieving professional objectives such as banking a certain salary or earning a prestigious job title that your original purpose is forgotten. Mired in busywork and the daily ins and outs of your duties, you may lose sight of the bigger “why” that drives you. Without a sense of purpose, you climb the ladder success with profound emptiness.

When this happens, dedicate intentional time to re-orient back to your mission. Take a day or two to refocus. You don’t have to travel anywhere. You can simulate a professional mini-retreat by asking yourself big questions like “What would I be doing if money wasn’t a problem?” or “When do I feel most alive?”

Through this internal exploration, you may come to realize is what you want more than a promotion or raise is the opportunity to make a meaningful impact, lead a team or simply feel more validated and appreciated at work.

Value The Process Over The End Result

In study after study, social scientists have found that external rewards and traditional financial incentives don’t improve employee performance. They may actually backfire, making it difficult for people to come up with creative solutions.

Instead, research shows high achievement is the result of intrinsic drivers–that is, a desire to do something for inherent interests, self-fulfillment or enjoyment. Motivation increases when people have the desire to perfect their craft. Successful people enjoy the learning process and don’t mind when it continues beyond an expected time frame. They relish in the journey to mastery. They focus on the happiness cultivated along the path to a particular goal, not necessarily a material outcome.

Try savoring how satisfying closing a huge sale feels, how deeply loved and seen you feel when family take note of your accomplishments or appreciate the increased recognition your company is receiving in the industry.

Commit to a System

Setting a big, hairy audacious goal–like publishing a book or launching a startup–can be a fantastic catalyst for change, but it’s not enough. You must commit to a process of taking action on a consistent basis.

Start with the question, “What could I do daily that would guarantee a result and move me forward?” to design your habit system. If you’re an aspiring author, create a weekly writing schedule. If you’re an entrepreneur, devise standard operating procedures to streamline your efforts. Whatever it is, it has to be an action you can sustain over time.

Recognize That Success Is Fluid

Understand that metrics of success—whether related to career, fitness, love or whatever else—are fluid and dynamic. There is always a higher rung in the ladder and over time your targets change. The ideal career when you’re in your 20s may be a poor work-life fit by the time you turn 35.

Instead of prescribing to career milestones society dictates you should have reached by a certain age or salary bracket, keep your options open, define success on your own terms and embrace the many opportunities you encounter on along the way.

Rather than work to attain a “cure-all” end goal, it’s important to view life as a succession of practices that build an imperfect yet wonderful big picture. Greatness comes from years grit, effort and many stumbles along the way.

Need some help finding the balance? We have a fantastic Resilience Coach that can help with just this.

 

We Americans love to tell ourselves that failure is not an option. We’re naturally enterprising, optimistic, and persistent. But despite our best efforts, failure is an inevitable part of life. Even if you try hard and give it 110%, you’re bound to experience failure at some point. Maybe it is the failure of a marriage. Perhaps your first small business failed, or you got fired from a job. Heck, it could be out of your control, like losing money in the stock market. Whatever form it takes, it’s an unfortunate reality that we’re all going to fail at something. Since it’s an inevitable part of life, we must learn how to overcome failure.

Practice Self-Compassion

 

When learning how to overcome failure, is learning self-compassion really the first thing to do? The answer is an unequivocal yes. 

When you experience a failure, you’re probably going to be hard on yourself. You might entertain negative thoughts like, “I’m a loser” or “I’m never going to be successful.” But these thoughts serve no useful purpose. They get us thinking in a negative frame of mind, which perpetuates feelings of despair and helplessness. If we let these thoughts fester, they can even alter our self-image and self-esteem.

The key to avoiding this unfortunate outcome is to treat yourself with compassion. This might sound like new-age mumbo-jumbo, but there is real science behind the concept. Researchers found that people who used self-compassion in the face of failure enjoyed better emotional balance than people who did not. Those who used self-compassion also experienced fewer thoughts of self-criticism and didn’t identify themselves as a failure. If you’re still not convinced, consider that those who used self-compassion to face failure were able to learn more from their experience.

Think of it this way: if you become convinced that you’re a failure, you will probably have a hard time motivating yourself. You may end up accepting defeat or suffering from learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is not a beneficial outcome in terms of personal growth. On the other hand, if you acknowledge that you have failed but differentiate your failure from your identity, you are more likely to learn and grow.

How do you practice self-compassion? 

There are three basic concepts to master. First, you must identify and accept your true emotions. It’s okay to feel angry, afraid, embarrassed, or however you feel. Identify your emotion and engage with it. You can even say it aloud: “I’m angry!”

The second concept to master is that you’re not alone. Human beings are prone to various failure modes, and it happens to all of us eventually. It’s easy to feel isolated, alone, or ashamed after a failure. Remembering that most people will fail at something and that failure is a normal part of life can help put your situation in perspective.

Finally, imagine how you would talk to a friend who failed. Would you berate them for being a stupid failure and tell them to try harder because failure is not an option? Probably not, no. You would probably tell your friend that people fail all the time, and that they’ll learn and grow from it, and that you’ve got their back. So why not tell yourself the same thing?

4 Practical Tips on Overcoming Failure 

Build Resilience

Resilience is our ability to adapt to changing circumstances such as failure. Rather than internalizing failure and giving up, a resilient person accepts what happened, learns from it, and moves along. So how can you build up your resilience?

The first element of resiliency is learning to view hardships as challenges, not eternal circumstances. A failure can be challenging, no doubt. But even the most crushing defeat is not going to linger forever. You might be enduring hard times right now, but eventually, the winds will change, and things will start looking up — or at least stop actively crumbling around you.

The next critical element of resiliency is commitment. Resilient people find internal motivation to continue pushing on. While it might be easy to mope in bed and hide from our failure under the covers, the resilient person recognizes that this behavior is counterproductive. Instead, they commit to their idea. Sure, this used bookstore and tea lounge failed. But that doesn’t mean every used bookstore and tea lounge will fail. If you believe in what you’re doing, you’ll commit to the idea and be persistent in pursuing it.

Finally, resilient people have an internal locus of control. In other words, they attribute their successes and failures primarily to their efforts. This tends to be motivating, as the logical conclusion is that you should put in a lot of effort to succeed. People with an external locus of control view themselves more as being subject to the forces of fate and luck, which can lend itself to defeatist thinking and anxiety.

Develop Healthy Habits

One area where failure is not an option is in developing healthy habits. Healthy habits might seem out of place when discussing how to overcome failure. However, healthy habits are a key ingredient in overcoming failure. If you experience a failure and immediately stop exercising, start drinking heavily, and comfort yourself with food, you’re not going to feel any better. Unhealthy coping mechanisms can help you feel better short term. Still, they usually have disastrous long-term effects: failure to cope healthfully with failure is going to set you up for even more failure, and you’ll find yourself in a spiral. We can all agree that this is an undesirable state of affairs.

It’s essential to find a way to continue with healthy habits in the face of failure. One of the most important healthy habits you should develop or maintain when you’re trying to overcome failure is mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being acutely aware of your emotions and thoughts without letting them consume you. In the context of a failure, mindfulness will help you process your feelings of shame, frustration, and disappointment without becoming depressed or embittered.

Exercise is another healthy habit that can help you when you’re trying to overcome a failure. Failure can be a stressful event that causes the release of stress hormones like cortisol. An excellent way to help reduce the damage that these stress hormones cause is by exercising. If you’re feeling really stressed out, hit the gym for a workout and pump your frustrations out on the machines. If you need to relax, take a walk in the park or even consider going for a hike. Channeling your frustration and grief into physical activity can be an excellent strategy for dealing with failure.

Find a Failure Role Model

Usually, when we think of role models, we think of people who we aspire to be like. Why then would we want to find a failure role model? Simply put: failure is a step on the path to success.

Plenty of wildly successful people have experienced significant failures in their life. Consider the case of Steven Spielberg. While today Spielberg’s name is synonymous with big-budget blockbusters and critically acclaimed films alike, he was rejected from the USC’s School of Theater, Film, and Television three times. He eventually attended school at another location, only to drop out to become a director before finishing. 35 years after starting his degree, Spielberg returned to school in 2002 to finally complete his work and earn his BA.

Still not convinced? Think about Oprah Winfrey. Although she is now worth billions and adored by millions of fans thanks to her popular talk show and media empire, Winfrey was actually fired from her first TV job as one of the 6 pm news anchors for Baltimore’s WJZ-TV.

Finding a failure role model in people like Steven Spielberg or Oprah Winfrey can help you better understand how to overcome failure. You might be facing hard times right now, but with persistence and dedication, you can still find your way to success. Instead of fixating on the idea that failure is not an option, accept it and find ways to continue despite it.

The Final Step: Moving On

The last stop on our journey of learning how to overcome failure is moving on. When you fail, it’s okay to grieve, mourn, or even mope about what happened. Expressing genuine feelings is actually healthy! However, hanging on to those feelings consumes mental energy and takes up psychological bandwidth that could be focused on developing a successful enterprise out of the ruins.

Throughout life you will have challenges, strong emotions, and obstacles that seem insurmountable. But a rational approach can help you to navigate a failure. By treating yourself with kindness, looking for causes, and developing resilience, you’re creating a cognitive skill set that will help you in every part of your life. Finding a failure role model enables you to gain historical perspective and learn from people who have gone before you. And developing healthy habits will reward you for the rest of your life. It may seem like failure is the end of the road, but it’s not. It’s just a brief pit stop on your journey. Hang in there, be nice to yourself, and stay positive. You’ll be back on track before you know it.

If you need a little extra help throughout a difficult time, don’t hesitate to reach out to a qualified therapist on our team.

 

When thinking of the ways to be more productive, we often jump to larger actions and drastic New Year’s resolutions. But the path to making your day more productive can begin with taking a break – assessing what’s happening so you can truly focus.

We all want to increase productivity at work. Whether you’re running your own business or working for a company, optimizing your time is key. But if we’ve learned one thing from 2021, it’s that burnout is real. The pandemic birthed an emphasis on mental health, making it easier to discuss our self-care needs.

Trends like mindfulness emerged alongside increased virtual meetings, and we juggled home management and childcare with masks and curbside pickups. We put a lot of projects on the back burner.

Now it’s 2022, and we want to return to productivity – but how? By learning from the turbulence of last couple of years, we can create new habits to avoid just being busy and start making real progress on our work.

8 WAYS TO INCREASE PRODUCTIVITY THIS YEAR

Stop Trying to Multitask

You’ll notice that many people say that they’re good at multitasking on their resumes.

But, according to the latest scientific research, there’s no such thing as multitasking.

It’s just your poor brain trying to switch between tasks very quickly and juggle them, wasting too much energy in the process.

In reality, it’s virtually impossible to focus on more than one thing at a time. Just like texting while driving is dangerous for your safety, trying to work on multiple tasks simultaneously will hurt your performance and productivity.

Finally, this practice can also be detrimental to your intelligence –  those who multitask frequently have smaller grey matter density in the part of the brain responsible for controlling emotions and decision-making.

So, commit to a single task and focus on it until it’s completed.

Avoid Interruptions 

Did you know that it takes 25 minutes to get back in the zone after a distraction?

And these interruptions happen regardless of whether you work from the office or home – the culprit might be a colleague who constantly needs something or a regular house chore.

However, we should admit that social media is one of the worst productivity killers. All of us tend to grab our smartphones “just to check that notification” and get caught up in a swirl of news, chats, and other non-work-related things.

Some of the things you can do to avoid getting sidetracked include:

• Make a plan and allow yourself to check your social media as well as email notifications at designated times only.
• Close the door of your office and let your coworkers know that you’re working on an important task. This will help you establish a habit as they’ll learn that when your door is closed, you don’t want to be disturbed.
• Wear noise-canceling headphones.
• Create office hours when you’re working from home and stick to them.

Take Regular Breaks 

Taking a planned break isn’t a distraction.

Our brains aren’t wired to be focused for extended periods of time. That’s why you sometimes find it hard to concentrate after you spend an hour working on a challenging task. It’s the monotony taking its toll on your attention.

It’s best to take a break every 30 to 40 minutes. Although this might sound counterintuitive, this strategy will allow you to decompress, hydrate, and stretch. A 5-minute rest is all it takes to get your creative juices flowing again.

Besides mental relaxation, it’s important to reduce muscle stiffness by doing some simple exercises and take your eyes off your screen thus preventing strain.

After such a break you’ll feel recharged and ready to resume your work.

Ditch Meetings

Unless they’re absolutely necessary or beneficial.

Stats say that an average employee spends 31 hours a month sitting in unproductive meetings (that could have been emails.)

While regular communication, as well as keeping your co-workers posted about the latest developments and important stuff, is essential, it’s crucial to pick the best method to get in touch with them.

Sometimes this can be a meeting if there’s an important issue to be discussed that requires immediate feedback.

In all other situations, opt for stand-up meetings as they tend to be more dynamic and engaging. Besides such an arrangement will also boost group performance and participation.

Another rule for effective meetings says to invite only those who are involved in the project that will be discussed.

If your meetings tend to drag on and on, remember the two-pizza-rule invented by Jeff Bezos: he holds only meetings during which two pizzas will feed the entire team. In other words, if there are too many people, the meeting won’t be productive and it will take longer than necessary.

Last but not least, don’t forget to establish a clear goal for every meeting, and let your co-workers know what’s expected of them. This way everyone will be able to prepare for the meeting properly and contribute to the discussion.

Otherwise, your meetings will be a simple waste of time that will only result in a couple of eye-rolls and muffled yawns.

Automation Is a Must

Don’t refrain from automating every task you can!

Modern automation tools are sophisticated and advanced, which means that you can rely on them without worrying about side effects.

For example, you can make use of programs that can automate your sales email outreach but not at the expense of personalization. Things like this can save hours per week per sales representative in prospecting, and allow them to focus on other high-value tasks.

Other things that you can put on autopilot are social media management, customer support, communications, or booking meetings.

The trick is to assess tasks that require critical thinking and human touch and distinguish them from those simple, repetitive ones that can be easily performed by a smart tool.

Also, it’s a good idea to create an arsenal of useful automation tools that you can use to facilitate certain tasks or pick up the slack.

Learn to Say No

No is one of the most powerful words in the English language, and yet people find it very hard to use it.

But, your life would be much easier if you used this word more often.

The reason why people avoid saying no to accepting more workload, a round of drinks with their colleagues after work, or anything else that gets in the way of their plans is that they think that it’s rude. Another factor is their insecurity and the underlying fear that somebody will hold that refusal against them.

However, while there are some things that you can’t decline, you shouldn’t put yourself in the role of a yes-sayer all the time.

Learning to say no takes time, so here are some tips to help you get going:

• Practice with your friends and in safe situations.
• Be direct but polite.
• Don’t apologize and show that you feel guilty, but if it’s necessary, offer an explanation about why you can’t accept the task or invitation – you’re already too busy, you have a near deadline, or too much work already.
• Don’t make up fake excuses. Be sincere as the point is to learn to set boundaries.
• Don’t say “I’ll think about it” if you don’t want or can’t do it. This way you’ll only prolong your stress and anxiety instead of getting this unpleasant situation off your chest.

Set Your Priorities

Don’t postpone important tasks for later during the day.

The odds are that you’ll be tired and less focused then, so it’s best to deal with the most important tasks on your schedule first thing in the morning.

That way you’ll be able to check them off your list, as that will give you a sense of accomplishment. This momentum will carry you forward and allow you to finish other tasks more easily.

Sometimes you have a big and challenging task ahead of you, and your initial impulse is to leave it for later until you’re ready to face it. But, this is a wrong approach, as you’ll be even more reluctant to start working on it.

So, if you’re struggling with procrastination, feeling overwhelmed with your to-do list, and frequently can’t decide what to work on, the solution is to “eat the frog.”

In other words, pick your most difficult task for the day and focus on it. That way you’ll know that the worst thing that could happen is behind you and that you can get on with your day.

Learn to Delegate

Identify tasks that you can delegate to your coworkers or even contractors, and free up your time so that you can focus on really important work.

But there’s no point in transferring a task to somebody else and then spend your time supervising their work.

It’s called micromanaging and it can kill both your and your coworker’s productivity. You won’t be able to do anything else, while they will feel as if they were under a microscope.

That’s why learning to properly delegate can save you a lot of time and energy. The trick is in picking the person you know is skilled enough for the job and trusting them with the task.

It can be difficult at first, but once you let go and see that others are up to the challenge, you’ll feel more relaxed about the entire arrangement and your productivity will significantly improve.

We have an amazing Resilience Coach on our team that can help you get on track for 2022. Reach out to us today to schedule your session

 

Some industries naturally lead to higher stress levels, but high-pressure situations can happen in any job. Left unchecked, that pressure can start to eat away at your physical and mental health, leaving you feeling stressed and physically unwell. Figuring out how to handle pressure without sacrificing your performance takes practice and a few key strategies.

Here are some tips to get better at handling and performing well under pressure in the workplace:

1. Reframe the Situation

High-pressure situations tend to make everything seem worse. Instead of looking at that upcoming deadline as another task to complete, you see it as a make-or-break situation that could end your career. Sure, some situations do carry a lot of weight, but most of the daily things that stress you out at work aren’t do-or-die situations.

Try to take away the threatening aspect of the situation, and look at it as an opportunity to put your skills to work or a challenge to conquer. If you’re worried or afraid of the situation, you’re less likely to perform your best. That negative pressure can sap your energy and make the task more challenging. Change the way you think about it, and you’re better prepared to tackle it.

2. Look at Worst-Case Scenarios

When you’re under a lot of pressure, you often have a sense of doom about the outcome. But if you really stop to think about the worst-case scenario, you may realize it’s not that bad. Say you’re in charge of organizing a big meeting at your office, but you forget to book the conference room and someone else books it first. You beat yourself up over it and let the stress become overwhelming, but the worst thing that might happen is you have to get creative and find a new location. It could turn out better, too, with the other person agreeing to reschedule their event so you can have the conference room as originally planned.

Thinking about worst-case scenarios can also help you prepare for the unexpected. If you have a big presentation coming up, some potential problems could be forgetting what you’re supposed to say, losing your PowerPoint presentation, or spilling your coffee on your lap beforehand. Now, think of ways you can be prepared for those situations in case they do happen. Maybe you practice your presentation a little more and come prepared with note cards as a backup. You might save your PowerPoint presentation in multiple places to ensure you have a copy. Perhaps you choose water instead of coffee, sip carefully or pack an extra set of clothes. Use your worry to empower yourself and prepare for the worst thing that could happen.

3. Make a Plan

It’s easy to waste your time worrying or feeling overwhelmed by the situation. Instead of thinking about how it might turn out, focus on creating an action plan. Break down what you need to do to accomplish the task. Then, figure out how you’re going to complete each step to get there. Prioritizing the tasks helps you decide what needs the most attention. Focus on starting and checking off items on your to-do list. Making that progress can give you confidence and make it easier to keep going. Keep your mind on the things you can control rather than worrying about the factors that are out of your control.

4. Use Stress-Relief Strategies

Strategies that help calm you and ease the stress can make it easier to handle high-pressure work situations. Even though you feel like you need to devote all your time to the project, taking a break to exercise, meditate or breathe deeply can help lower your stress and let you work more efficiently. Listening to music can have a powerful effect on your mood and outlook. Find a type of music that calms you if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Some songs have a motivating effect, making you feel like you can conquer anything. Think about what type of attitude change you need, and find the music to help you achieve it.

5. Step Back

When you’re feeling too much pressure, take a step back and slow down. That little step can give you the clarity you need to figure out the best approach to the situation. If you rush into the project to get it done quickly, you may end up making a mistake or missing an easier solution to the situation. By taking a step back, you can formulate a strong plan to get through this high-pressure situation. That moment can also help you realize the situation isn’t as challenging as you think.

6. Reach Out for Help

Some high-pressure situations call for a little help. Talk with someone about the pressure you’re feeling, and it may be enough to improve your outlook. Someone who has been in a similar situation may have advice to help you through it. If possible, consider delegating some of your tasks to other team members so you aren’t so overwhelmed. For example, you might ask a colleague to pull numbers for you while you’re compiling your presentation for an upcoming stakeholder meeting. Even a little help can make a big difference in your outlook.

Final Words

Be careful not to confuse pressure with stress  – they are quite different. Pressure can be a very positive quality. Experiencing it, yet feeling calm and in control, can spur people on to achieve great things. It’s only when it keeps building and that sense of calm and order is replaced by a feeling of being out of control that stress happens, and has a wholly negative effect. Remember pressure at work will always be present, it is how you manage these that truly counts.

 

Many organizations are now looking beyond traditional strategies to manage their employees and are now focusing only on qualities that build authentic leadership. One of the skills in great demand for truly authentic leaders is empathy

What does empathy mean?

Empathy is the ability to understand and be sensitive to another person’s feelings, thoughts and actions.

Essentially, it means being able to put oneself in the other’s shoes and imagine how they must be feeling in certain situations and why they act the way they do.

What is an empathetic leader?

An empathetic leader is one who has a genuine interest in his/her team members’ lives, the challenges they face, and their overall feelings.

This kind of leader makes an effort to understand their situations and what they are going through, in order to offer support and help. Empathy is a key element of servant leadership as well although not all empathetic leaders practice servant leadership.

Overall, an empathetic leader interacts with others in a way that leaves them feeling safe and cared for, and as though they have a connection based on trust.

Defining Empathy in the Workplace

Empathy means having the ability to relate to other’s thoughts, emotions and experiences. When we have empathy, we react more compassionately and have a deeper understanding of how someone feels.

Empathy is a powerful tool in any relationship — not just work. By temporarily taking up residence in somebody else’s perspective, you’ll find it easier to solve conflicts and create solutions that work for everyone involved.

In the workplace, establishing empathic relationships with colleagues can improve performance and satisfaction, and eliminate the risk of conflicts for more efficient decision making. These empathic connections usually have four qualities:

• Both parties openly communicate about workplace problems and concerns.
• Neither party is interested in conflict, judgment and criticism.
• Both parties respect the other’s point of view.
• The focus shifts to a win-win strategy, removing tension and conflict.

How Empathy Fuels Productivity

Recent polls show more than half of employees state they would consider leaving their job if company leaders didn’t show empathy to staff needs.

Although an important factor, the benefits of empathy extend far beyond employee satisfaction to all corners of a business — including its bottom line.

It decreases conflict

When there’s a common understanding of emotions and motivations, the risk of conflict decreases significantly.

In a conflict situation, it can be tempting to look for someone to blame. However, pointing fingers can escalate situations, leading to bad feelings and a notion of victimhood. By making someone the perpetrator rather than working towards mutual understanding, you waste time and energy — the definition of unproductive.

When leaders focus on embedding a culture of empathy, collaboration increases, driving productivity and making solutions easier to find.

It makes giving and receiving feedback easier

Giving and receiving feedback at work is an important element of productivity, as it gives us the opportunity to improve. Empathy allows leaders to gain an overall understanding of why certain areas aren’t up to scratch. Taking a compassionate and empathic approach to feedback gives employees the space to be open about their downfalls.

For example, by asking “How are things going for you?” employees have the chance to open up on areas they’re struggling with, which could be hindering their productivity. Leaders can then work on finding a way to overcome these barriers to productivity, promoting an environment where self-improvement is central.

It reduces work-related stress

Fostering empathy in the workplace can help create a more collaborative environment and strengthen work relationships, which works to reduce stress levels. In fact, research has shown that managers with good relationships with their employees, who in turn understood their managers’ challenges, experienced significantly less stress.

Employees are also less likely to experience burnout in an empathic organization. Through a lens of empathy, managers can check in with employees regularly, giving employees the chance to talk. Instead of instilling fear and stress in employees, empathic leaders can pivot and adapt their policies to focus on wellbeing.

How to Improve Empathy at Work

Here are four simple steps you can take to ensure your company is cultivating empathy:

1. Actively Listen

In a busy work environment, it can be easy to passively listen while your mind is on something else. However, this isn’t productive. Try to put your deadlines, tasks and problems aside to concentrate on what the other person is really saying. Look out for non-verbal cues as well.

By putting yourself in their position, you can imagine how they’re feeling and are better equipped to find a solution.

2.Recognize your bias

Your unconscious bias could be making you react in a certain way, impacting your decision making. Although it’s difficult to unlearn, it’s easier to keep your bias in check when you’re aware that it exists.

This awareness prevents you from dismissing someone’s feelings simply because of a preconceived notion of how you think they act, leading to a more empathic environment.

3.Work with your team

By better understanding your team’s workload and the frustrations they feel, you can empathize with their needs and worries. It’s also a lot easier to spot the signs of burnout when you work alongside your workforce, which helps prevent disengagement.

When remote working, you can do this by checking in regularly to see how people are feeling regarding their workload and simply asking how their day is going.

4.Avoid making assumptions

Giving employees the benefit of the doubt before passing judgment on their performance can be a powerful way to demonstrate empathy.

Jumping to conclusions is the exact opposite of empathy, as there’s no patience or understanding involved in making bold assumptions. Through open dialogue, on the other hand, you can get to the root of the issue and solve it faster.

How can effective incorporation of empathy in the workplace improve company culture?

Empathy makes it possible for understanding, acceptance, and appreciation of each employee in the workplace. It’s a key component of functional, positive relationships. The more that leaders and employees practice this skill in the workplace, the more cohesive, diverse, and harmonious the company culture can become.

We offer webinars, workshops, and seminars for organizations on mental health in the work place. Click the button below to find out how we can help your company.

 

Burnout is a real issue in the workplace, with many workers being continuously stressed with work demands. Employers play a crucial role in curbing the systemic factors responsible for workplace stress.

Many managers may be underestimating the burden and risks of burnout in their organizations.

A recent study found that 77% of workers reported experiencing burnout at their current workplaces, even among employers who truly loved what they do.

WHAT IS WORKPLACE BURNOUT?

Burnout is a spectrum of physical and emotional signs of exhaustion and stress, which occurs when the demands of work are greater than the capabilities of and resources available to workers. A number of workplace risk factors set the stage for this: excess work demands, dysfunctional workplace dynamics, poor employee support, poor work-life balance, and lack of control at work. These factors create an atmosphere that breeds employee burnout.

Employee burnout is a serious topic today because of its impact on the mental and physical health of employees, which in turn, stifles workers’ performance and leads to an overall decline in productivity. This is the vicious cycle it creates for any organization.
‍What’s more? Job burnout costs organizations high employee turnover, making them lose their most competent hands to competitors, further crippling the business.

HOW TO RECOGNIZE SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS

The majority of employees experiencing burnout will remain at work. Being aware of changes in attitudes and energy can help with early identification. Employees may not realize that they are dealing with burnout and may instead believe that they are just struggling to keep up during stressful times. Stress, however, is usually experienced as feeling anxious and having a sense of urgency while burnout is more commonly experienced as helplessness, hopelessness, or apathy.

Employees may not be aware of the negative impacts on their performance that this can have, such as increased errors or lower productivity. Employers and co-workers may attribute the changes to a poor attitude or loss of motivation. The negative effects of burnout can increase significantly before anyone recognizes or addresses the problem and unaddressed burnout can increase the chance of developing clinical depression or other serious conditions.

Some of the signs and symptoms that an employee experiencing burnout may exhibit include:

• Lack of interest or enthusiasm
• Moving slower than normal
• Disinterest in conversation
• Disengagement
• Exhibiting a negative attitude
• Frequent tardiness or absences
• Decline in productivity
• Producing lower quality work

Noticing and taking steps to mitigate employee burnout is an important practice for businesses. Burnout can happen to anyone, including supervisors and those in upper management. Employers who ignore burnout often encounter unusually high job dissatisfaction and employee turnover rates.

You may also find that employee burnout can cause long-term losses. Burned-out employees are more likely to take PTO and call in sick during busy workweeks. They’re also often looking for other jobs and may resign with little to no notice. That means learning to handle employee burnout effectively can save you time, money and mental strain.

PREVENTION STRATEGIES 

What steps, then, can employers take to reverse this trend and keep their employees engaged and working at peak performance? Here are a few ideas.

ENCOURAGE TIME OFF 

Taking vacation time is an important tool in preventing burnout. Managers should gently remind employees that they are free to take time off and that the company encourages it, to unplug and recharge. Make sure your teams are aware and able to shift workloads and responsibilities efficiently when colleagues take time off.

MAKE TOOLS AND RESOURCES AVAILABLE 

Providing tools that promote wellness and self-care is one step in mitigating factors of burnout. Offering resources, such as free subscriptions to health and wellness apps, Employee Assistance Programs (EAP), and conversational AI like chatbots and digital assistants, can be combined and offer 24/7 support to the workforce.

PRESENT FLEXIBLE WORKING ARRANGEMENTS

Finding ways to give employees the flexibility needed to complete their work without the traditional parameters helps employees. This includes offering extra paid time off, flexible work hours, and supporting employees that are caretakers and guardians with daycare arrangements.

DEPLOY WELL-BEING AND RESILIENCE TRAINING AND BENEFITS 

Making sure your workforce knows there are wellness programs available to support – such as fitness classes, ergonomics, diet advice, and general counseling is an important step. Hosting workshops and offering training addressing the new ways people work can help employees process change and avoid factors that lead to burnout.

INCREASE COMMUNICATION AND CONNECTION

Encouraging employees to stay connected and providing creative ways via various learning and communication channels helps the workforce feel engaged. Offering virtual happy hours and coffee breaks to remind the workforce they are part of a community can be a tremendous tool for preventing burnout and increasing connection.

ENLIST MANAGERS’ AND LEADERS’ SUPPORT 

Recommending senior leadership share messages emphasizing the importance of mental health and wellbeing and asking managers to be flexible regarding work schedules is key. Removing the stigma around burnout and advocating for EAP can offer the workforce support they didn’t know existed or that they needed.

RECOGNIZE CONTRIBUTIONS

Recognizing those who are contributing to the success of the organization, providing motivational videos, sharing messages of support, and offering praise are all collaborative ways to keep the workforce engaged. Encouraging expressions of gratitude and appreciation both internally and externally counteracts the risk factors for burnout

SET BOUNDARIES TO BALANCE BETWEEN WORK AND HOME

Creating and respecting boundaries for a work and life balance must be considered when reviewing the risk factors for burnout. Prioritizing and encouraging a focus on health, safety, and family across the organization and providing updates on all circumstances impacting the workforce will help build trust and remove risks of burnout.

REDISTRIBUTE OR REPRIORITIZE WORK 

Offering flexibility around when work is completed, reprioritizing the work that is ‘must-do’ versus ‘nice to do’ and scheduling career growth conversations around goals and learning paths, some that may have drastically changed, will help employees feel supported – critical to reducing fear factors leading to burnout.

REACH OUT AND LISTEN

Checking-in with remote workers, and employees who have returned to an in-person role, is the simplest way to let the workforce know they are supported and prevent symptoms of burnout. Asking questions and offering tools to support – whether it is through an internal survey, a wellness chatbot, or a therapist offered in an EAP – share that the environment at work is safe, and that employees are heard. Then listen and respond.

STRUCTURE AND BALANCE MEETINGS

Remaining open to new ways of work and providing options for flexible working structures helps employees feel supported. Creating a schedule and inviting employees to build one that best fits their current work structure and time constraints provides employees with a sense of empowerment and support that reduces burnout risk factors and promotes wellness.

Using these tips for addressing burnout and taking actions to mitigate the risks will help keep your workforce engaged even in tough and unpredictable times. In addition, creating a supportive community based on communication and connection will position your organization to thrive now and in the future. Burnout awareness and prevention is vital to keeping employees healthy and productive, and for continued business success.

 

Feeling especially down this time of year? You’re not alone. Millions of Americans experience SAD—Seasonal Affective Disorder—a form of depression that usually starts in the fall when the days begin to get shorter and there is less sunlight, and lasts until the spring. In fact, the third Monday in January has earned the title of Blue Monday as the most depressing day of the year!

Although the science behind Blue Monday is a bit questionable, this time of year is notoriously bleak, particularly for those living farther north of the equator where there are less daylight hours in the winter. The good news is that there are many things you can do to help manage and alleviate the symptoms that this seasonal depression brings. But first, let’s learn a little more about Seasonal Affective Disorder.

WHAT IS SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER?

Seasonal Affective Disorder, sometimes referred to as ‘winter blues’, is not a separate disorder but, rather, a type of depression characterized by its recurrent seasonal pattern, with symptoms lasting about 4 to 5 months per year. The most difficult months for people feeling depressed with SAD in the United States tend to be January and February.

The causes of SAD are not fully understood, but has been linked to a biochemical imbalance in the brain exacerbated by shorter daylight hours and less sunlight in winter. During this time, people experience a shift in their biological internal clock or circadian rhythm that can cause them to be out of sync with their usual schedule.

Research suggests that the lack of sunlight reduces our serotonin (the “feel good” hormone) levels while increasing our melatonin (the “sleep” hormone) levels. In people with SAD, the changes in serotonin and melatonin levels disrupt the normal daily rhythms. As a result, some people can no longer adjust to the seasonal changes in day length, leading to sleep, mood, and behavior changes.

What are the symptoms of seasonal depression?

People with SAD experience mood changes and symptoms similar to depression such as sadness, loss of interest, low energy, hopelessness, agitation, and difficulty concentrating. In addition, common symptoms of seasonal depression, which may range from mild to severe, may also include:

• Oversleeping (hypersomnia)
• Overeating, particularly with a craving for carbohydrates
• Weight gain
• Social withdrawal (feeling like “hibernating”)

Who is at risk?

SAD can affect anyone, but is more common in people with major depressive disorder or bipolar disorder. People with other mental disorders—or who have relatives diagnosed with them—such as attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, or an eating, anxiety, or panic disorder are at higher risk than those who do not have them.

As mentioned, people who live in areas of the world that have reduced daylight hours in winter are at increased risk as compared to those living in areas with more sunlight.

Can seasonal depression be treated with medication?

Seasonal depression is typically treated with a combination of medication and other non-pharmacological therapies. Treatment for seasonal depression may include: Psychotherapy

Cognitive and behavioral therapy may help a person understand what they are feeling. A therapist can work with a person to identify any stressors or triggers that may be worsening depressive symptoms.

What you can do: Everyday tips for managing SAD

While therapy and medication may be essential for some people with SAD, anyone can employ simple strategies to help self-manage symptoms throughout the season. Try some of these tips to help lessen the effects of seasonal depression:

Let There Be Light

Let as much natural light into your space as possible, preferably as soon as you get up. Open those curtains and blinds.

Another simple way to get light during the winter month is by using light therapy with a SAD lamp—a box that emits a very bright light (and filters out harmful ultraviolet (UV) rays)—which is very effective if you use it consistently. Typically, it requires 20 minutes or more per day, preferably first thing in the morning during the winter months. Most people see improvement within one or two weeks of beginning treatment.

Buy Some Plants

Plants have been shown to ease symptoms of depression and anxiety, especially during a long winter. They give people something to nurture and help make us more aware of how natural light enters our homes. No green thumb? No problem! Simply search, “easy care plants,” and lots of options will pop up!

Get Moving

Get some form of daily physical activity, preferably outdoors. Don’t overthink this one! A 20-minute walk counts. Set a reasonable bar and then you can build up later if you’d like. Simply establishing this habit is the most important part.

Do some stretching or strength training indoors—near a window, if possible—if the weather is too severe for outdoor activities.

Maintain a Routine

As you begin to become tired, often it is really easy to slip out of your daily routines. You could find yourself sleeping more and being restless at night. Seasonal depression can also cause you to feel down in general and very overwhelmed. This can be tough to deal with as it is hard to stay productive and get the things done you need to. That is why it is helpful to recognize this and try your best to maintain a consistent schedule, including meals, physical activity, and sleep. (Seems pretty basic, but it’s worth emphasizing.)

Vitamin D

In addition to many cancers, high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease, a vitamin D deficiency is also linked to depression. So if you’re feeling SAD, now is a good time to get your D levels tested.

You can consume Vitamin D through your diet, but you may not receive a high enough dose to be effective. Instead, consider purchasing a vitamin D supplement, or have your doctor prescribe a higher-concentrated version of vitamin D, such as 10,000 IU or 50,000 IU.

Healthy Diet

Maintaining a healthy diet is critical for both physical and mental health. There’s nothing wrong with indulging in comfort foods during the colder winter months, but those items don’t have to be packed with sugar or unhealthy fats. Be sure to include good fats like avocados, nuts and olive oil. These fats can help you feel fuller longer and may discourage overeating or carbohydrate cravings.

Smile & Laugh

As simple as that may sound, try to intentionally make space for joy! Laughter is a well-documented stress reliever. Turn on your favorite comedy film, stream a stand-up special, watch a compilation of funny YouTube videos, or call someone who always makes you laugh. Prioritizing joy and connection can have a powerful impact on mood.

Talk About It

Normalizing mental health issues is important. Millions of people are dealing with this, so you may be surprised by how helpful opening up the conversation with friends and family may be. If you feel like you need the extra support from a professional therapist, meeting with one throughout the winter could be extra helpful.

 

Social media has become such a big part of our lives; we sometimes don’t even realize how much time we spend scrolling through our feeds. It’s the last thing many of us look at before we go to bed and the first thing we check when we wake up – but does interacting with social media hurt our mental health?

A recent finding published in the Journal of Mental Health found that 70 studies conducted over the last ten years to examine how social media affects mental health came back with differing conclusions. Some studies found social media to have a positive impact on people’s lives, while others warned against the possible connection between social media and depression or anxiety.

Ultimately, the study found that social media does affect mental health. Whether it’s a positive or negative impact is determined by how the individual uses the platforms. Finding a balance and developing healthy habits for using social media is essential for making sure it has a positive presence in your life.

THE PROS AND CONS OF SOCIAL MEDIA

There are definite benefits of using social media. Platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest can enable communication skills and social connections, as well as be a source of inspiration and motivation.

Social media is also particularly useful as a business tool with regards to marketing a brand. Especially during a time when social distancing and various restrictions have limited other forms of connections.

Another huge benefit of social media is the ability to raise awareness about important issues and share news about trending matters.

But how much is too much?

The addictive action of constant scrolling can be detrimental to the human psyche in several ways. With a constant barrage of information, both visual and descriptive, it’s easy to get caught up in comparisons. This has shown to have a negative impact on self-esteem, sometimes leading to suicidal thoughts and self-harm.

Social media can also have a negative impact in other ways. With a large amount of information available at your fingertips, you may find that your attention span has decreased, as well as your ability to sleep peacefully through the night.

The obsession with the virtual world can also result in disconnection in the real world. This puts a strain on relationships and can trigger feelings of anxiety and loneliness.

Are You Or A Loved One Being Impacted By Social Media?

There are a few indicators that may give you a clue about the handle that social media has on your life, all of which can add to the development of depression.

Perceived Social Isolation

Studies have shown that there’s a correlation between the amount of time spent on social media and perceived social isolation (PSI). When users spend more time engaging in the virtual world, they can forget how to engage in real-world encounters.

Lowered Self-Esteem

With a constant influx of picture-perfect people living in an ideal world, it’s very easy to play the comparison game. But many don’t realize that these images are curated and the bar for success is set unrealistically high.

Less Physical Activity

When social media becomes an addiction, it can take time away from doing other physical activities. In turn, this removes the release of endorphins that are brought about from healthy activity. The dopamine burst comes from a notification, and this addiction is neither reliable nor healthy.

Decreased Concentration

Social media platforms are not only addictive, but they are also distracting. The constant need to engage, get likes, and consume information can distract from more important activities such as learning.

Sleep Deprivation

Research has shown that up to 60% of teenagers and adults use their screens right before bed. This can have a negative impact on the ability to sleep – because of the blue light and influx of information. Sleep deprivation is one of the biggest contributions to depression.

How to Protect Your Mental Health

1. Schedule time to use social media and times to step away.As with most things, balance is the key to having healthy habits on social media. You can set aside time when you can surf the web, and times when you log off and ignore notifications. It is particularly important when you’re spending time with friends or family and before you go to sleep. It may be helpful to use an old-fashioned alarm clock to wake up in the morning, so you can leave your phone in the other room when it’s time to go to bed.
2. Be clear about what your purpose is when logging onto a social media site and stick to it. We’ve all gone online to check the time of a birthday party next week and found ourselves, an hour later, watching video after video. Be thoughtful about why you’re logging into a site and then make sure you sign off when you’re finished. This will also make sure you’re using social media the way you want – to connect with friends or get updates on your favorite band – without letting what other people are posting take over.
3. Use other people’s posts as inspiration rather than comparison. Seeing other people broadcast their successes and post magazine-perfect moments of their lives might make your daily life pale in comparison. But remember that these moments aren’t representative of someone’s whole life, and the person posting them is probably struggling with a lot of the same things you are. Looking at these posts as inspiration for you to work toward your own goals, rather than directly comparing your daily life to their Instagram, is a healthier way to view posts on social media. It’s also good to be selective about who you follow. If someone’s posts consistently make you feel bad about yourself or get you frustrated, then consider unfriending or unfollowing that person.
4. Think before posting.Likewise, think about what you’re sending out to the world. Before you hit send on a post, consider whether it’s spreading positivity. You can help make your feed an encouraging place to be by avoiding trolls or online arguments and fostering a community of support and positivity among your friends or followers – at least on your page.
5. Put your mental health first.Check in with yourself and if you’re feeling down, maybe go outside for a walk or grab coffee with a friend rather than spending time online. If getting notifications throughout the day makes you feel stressed or anxious then it would be a good idea to delete the social media apps from your phone or disable push notifications, so you only see alerts when you sign in manually.

Being on social media can help enhance your social life, but it can also easily become an additional stressor, and potentially exacerbate symptoms of anxiety or depression. Using some of these tips can help you create healthy social media habits that create balance in your life, protect your mental health, and make your social media use a positive force rather than a negative one.

 

Humans are social creatures, and it is normal to seek out relationships and find comfort amongst others. Most people have an innate need to belong and feel accepted. Finding an appropriate, healthy attachment with someone can take a lot of work. After all, we all have problems with our relationships — no one is perfect.

WHERE DO ATTACHMENT STYLES STEM FROM?

Some adverse childhood experiences can still influence you to this day. Without realizing it, the way you bonded with your parents and how you interacted with your peers at a young age plays a significant role in your attachment style. The relationships we have with our guardians as a child influence our social and intimate relationships in the future. Simply put, if you have unhinged or unstable parents as a kid, your relationships may be in for a wild ride.

As an adult, if you find your relationship hitting the same ruts, some adjustments may need to be made. Are you easily jealous or overly clingy? Do you find yourself wanting to only hang out with your significant other, ignoring your friends? Do you shut down immediately when your partner says something you don’t like? Therapy, paired with education about attachment styles, can provide a deeper understanding of how you can improve your relationships. It is helpful to understand what kind of attachment style you and your partner have to understand each other on a deeper level.

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment

An individual with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style requires constant validation. They are usually seeking approval, support, and attention from their partner. They often struggle with being alone and have an intense fear of abandonment. There may be a history of emotionally turbulent relationships that fuel the fire for this anxious attachment style.

The anxious-preoccupied individual often feels insecure and is preoccupied and often obsessed with how their partner views them. They are anxious about every aspect of the relationship and need constant reassurance. The past is a significant determinant of this attachment style. They most likely have been burned by a past relationship and have trouble moving forward in new relationships. Individuals with this attachment are known to be kind-hearted and sensitive, but some behavior may be perceived as too needy or clinging too tight.

Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment

This type of attachment is characterized by the independent, “lone wolf” persona. They rarely depend on others for emotional comfort or support. They avoid being intimate and vulnerable and push away those who get too close. Dismissive-avoidants typically have few close friends; they do not want to depend on others, and they do not want to be depended upon. There is a lack of commitment due to being extremely self-reliant.

Independence can be a good thing — to an extent — but the person who forms dismissive-avoidant attachments takes their need for independence to an extreme. However, this individual tends to open up emotionally when there is a shared experience or crisis. The bonds that do form with this individual are deep and emotionally charged.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

Individuals with fearful-avoidant attachment push people away due to an intense fear of rejection. In this case, the act of pushing people away is done out of fear and not because of trying to maintain independence. They desperately want to feel connected but have a hard time trusting others. They tend to rely on themselves and often see themselves as abandoned, but they push people away, in actuality. There is a constant fear that their partner will view them in a negative light and leave. The fearful-avoidant has significantly low self-esteem and persistent negative self-talk.

Fearful-avoidant attachment stems from a history of childhood grief, abuse, or abandonment. Therapy can help individuals with this attachment style learn the first steps of trusting people. Therapy can also help this individual explore their past and pinpoint the reasons why they fear rejection.

Secure Attachment

People with secure attachments can draw healthy boundaries. They are open with others and are comfortable sharing feelings. In arguments, they do not blame or attack others but rather aim to understand and talk it through. These individuals are capable of trusting others and seeking support when needed. They can grieve, learn, and move forward.

The secure attachment style is described as the healthiest form of attachment. The ability to trust others and form boundaries when needed creates lasting relationships, both romantically and socially.

WHAT’S YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE?

If you don’t have an idea of what your attachment style is yet and want to take a test, you can take this one for free and it only takes 5 minutes. It’s a great resource that will give you an idea of your attachment style across different relationships—parents, friends, romantic partners.

If you don’t want to take the test, the gist of it is this: if you’re consistently avoiding commitment, avoiding your romantic partners, shutting them out, or not sharing things with them, then you’re probably pretty avoidant.

If you’re constantly worrying about your partners, feel like they don’t like you as much as you like them, want to see them 24/7, need constant reassurance from them, then you’re probably anxious.

If you’re comfortable dating people, being intimate with them and are able to draw clear boundaries in your relationships, but also don’t mind being alone, then you’re probably secure.

Note, however, that there are some individual differences in how strongly we might identify with each attachment style. For example, you might be securely attached in most areas but have some anxious or avoidant tendencies in other situations.

That said, most people typically have a predominant attachment style they tend to fall back on in their close relationships.

Using Attachment Styles in Relationships

Attachment styles are not labels. They are categories aimed at helping us understand how we bond in our relationships. Most people do not have any fixed attachment style but have a mix of them. Learning about your partner’s attachment style can help benefit the success of your relationship. When in a relationship, it is important to feel heard and validated. Boundaries and trust are crucial for healthy relationships. Learning about your attachment style can benefit the long-term outcome of your relationships. Knowing and learning about your attachment style can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner. Attachment styles can serve as a guide for how to approach your partner or what to be aware of with your own relational tendencies.

 

Do you always worry that you may have a serious illness?  Are you constantly searching up symptoms online? Do these worries keep you up at night?  Worrying about your health is normal from time to time.  But when these worries start to impact your ability to function, you may want to seek help in order to determine a course of action.

Worrying About Your Health Vs. Health Anxiety  

Being worried about your health isn’t the same thing as having health anxiety (formerly known as hypochondria).  There is a difference between someone who has minimal symptoms and is still anxious about being sick and someone who is worried about actual symptoms.

People with health anxiety often misinterpret normal physical symptoms and think that they are something more serious.  For instance, they may worry that a headache is a brain tumor or that forgetting where they put their keys could possibly be dementia.

So how do you know if it’s health anxiety or if you may actually be sick?  Here are some signs…

• You have no symptoms, but are still anxious about being sick
• When a doctor tells you that you aren’t sick or a test shows that you’re healthy, you still feel worried
• You visit your doctor regularly with fears of illness and needs of reassurance
• You are constantly searching up health information online
• Excessive body checking

Continuing to worry about your health causes your body’s alarm system to go off. This produces symptoms of anxiety (racing heart, tightness of chest, difficulty with breathing, sweating, nausea, dizzy, jitters etc…). These symptoms are real and give your mind more cause for concern, even though the thoughts are often false.

Discerning the difference between anxiety and a serious medical condition can be difficult. Therefore, it’s important to rule out a medical condition first.  Once you’ve seen your doctor and received a clean bill of health, you can begin treating your health anxiety.

What are the main causes of health anxiety?

There are a variety of factors that may contribute to the development and onset of problems with health anxiety. These include:

Genetics: Some people are born with a temperament that leads them to be more prone to experiencing anxiety than most people. In addition, most forms of anxiety run in families to some degree.

Family background and childhood experiences: Individuals who experience a stressful family life during their childhood (such as family conflict, high family stress, or abuse) are more likely to develop problems with anxiety and depression. People who have problems with anxiety in general may be more likely to also have worries and fears about health and illness.

Social Learning: We can learn many things from our parents, siblings, or other significant people in our lives. Sometimes these lessons can be positive but at times we can pick up negative things from those around us. Children often model what their parents or siblings do. For example, if an anxious parent avoids a range of situations, children watching this are likely to behave in similar ways (i.e., engaging in avoidance).

Illness and death experience: Health anxiety may also be related to stressful experiences with illness and death in childhood or during the adult years.

What psychological treatments are used to treat health anxiety?

The primary psychological treatment that has been shown to be effective with this problem is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). This treatment involves:

• understanding anxiety and how problems with anxiety can develop;
• decreasing specific behaviors such as checking one’s body for symptoms and asking for reassurance about one’s health;
• learning how to counter the excessive worries about health and illness;
• overcoming avoidance of situations related to illness and death using exposure strategies;
• learning to face worries about illness realistically and directly which can reduce the fear associated with these thoughts;
• coping with fear of death by emphasizing the importance of accepting the reality of death and enjoying life to the fullest; and
• general anxiety management strategies such as relaxation techniques and increasing exercise.

6 Tips for Coping with Health Anxiety

1. Remember that your thoughts are not facts. Anxiety tries to protect us from pain, danger and discomfort, but often our worries are not warranted. What would happen if you challenged the thinking that promotes an over-focus on your body? What if you actually contracted something you are fearing- what is the worst that would happen? How would you cope if your worst fears came true?
2. Calm your body and regulate your nervous system. You might utilize relaxation skills, deep breathing, mindfulness practice, being in nature, or other soothing activities that ground you back in the present moment. These are tools that can help you to refocus attention when thoughts about the body are all-consuming.
3. Ask yourself: How much mental effort, time and energy does this thought or worry deserve? What is more meaningful to me that I could be focusing on or doing instead (i.e. playing with my children, completing a work task, engaging in a hobby). Clarifying values and then taking steps to do what brings you purpose and joy will reduce emotional distress.
4. Be willing to experience discomfort. Sounds counter-intuitive, I know! If we can ride the waves of discomfort, whether it be tension in our muscles, frequent uncertainty, or racing thoughts, these concerns are more likely to dissipate on their own. Just like a wave in the ocean, intense experiences build, peak and then diminish; I promise your discomfort will not last forever, although I appreciate the worry that it might. As our response to our physical sensations and thoughts shifts, so too will the anxiety itself.
5. Acknowledge your experience. Validate the emotions or sensations you are feeling in your body. Trying to talk yourself out of what is there may only amplify your distress. Open yourself up to curiosity about WHY these sensations or emotions are present; Perhaps there is an alternative explanation other than the one you have feared. Bodies are “noisy,” complex and ever-changing, so it is reasonable to consider the fact that your body may be experiencing shifts that are expected and healthy.
6. Seek support from trusted healthcare professionals. Express concerns about any new or concerning symptoms you have, and trust in your provider’s recommendations about how to evaluate and treat those concerns. Allow your treatment team to support and educate you in ways that are validating but not enabling of the health anxiety.

Reach out to us today to get started with a Qualified Clinician or Professional Coach.