How to Find the Right Therapist

Whether you’re exploring the idea of therapy or are certain that it’s time to get some help to support your mental health, the first step can be a challenging one—finding the right therapist. With many different types of mental health professionals to choose from, and different types of therapeutic approaches to consider, just getting started may seem overwhelming. Breaking down the factors to consider can help you figure out how to choose a therapist, getting you on the road to meeting your treatment goals and improving your well-being.

 

The Importance of a Good Match

Therapy often involves discussing highly personal topics, opening up in ways you never have before, and reexamining old beliefs. By its nature, it tends to be an uncomfortable process that can dredge up unwanted feelings, leaving you feeling vulnerable as you work toward building more positive patterns of thought and behavior. It’s essential to have a therapist you trust and with whom you feel comfortable for therapy to be effective. In fact, research shows that the quality of the therapeutic relationship between a patient and therapist is a reliable predictor of positive outcomes, regardless of the type of therapy.

This means that as you’re searching for a therapist, you can’t ignore what your gut tells you. If you meet with someone who doesn’t feel like the right fit for you after a few therapy sessions, no matter how highly qualified or enthusiastically recommended, it’s okay to say so! Better to continue to look than to force a situation that doesn’t quite work.

 

Knowing Why You Want Therapy

The reason why you’re looking for a therapist is a key component to narrowing down your search. Are you struggling with a mental health condition like anxiety or depression? Are you having trouble dealing with stress, and would like help developing healthier coping mechanisms? Are you having trouble navigating a significant life change? Have you lost somebody close and are looking for grief counseling? Most therapists specialize to a greater or lesser degree in their practice, so you should check to see that the concerns bringing you to therapy are within their area of expertise.

Certain therapeutic approaches may also be better suited to your issues, goals, and personality than others. For example, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a type of therapy that identifies negative patterns of thought and behavior and replaces them with healthier skills to improve well-being, is effective in treating problems such as anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), eating disorders, and substance abuse. Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is another type of therapy used to treat many of the same issues with a mindfulness approach that changes a person’s relationship with their negative thoughts, rather than trying to change the thoughts themselves. Both can potentially be effective, but it will likely depend a great deal on the individual. Thus, if a certain type of treatment sounds like it might work for you, finding a provider trained in it may also help you find a good fit for therapy.  

 

Professional Qualifications

As part of considering a potential therapist, you should confirm that they are properly licensed to practice. However, therapists don’t all hold the same credentials—professionals you might be considering could include psychologists, licensed clinical social workers, licensed marriage and family therapists, or licensed professional clinical counselors. In other words, not all therapists are psychologists, and the education level each specialist has will vary depending on the requirements for their professional licensure.

Is one type better than another? Not necessarily. The type of therapist that will be best for you will depend more on whether their specialty aligns with your needs and whether or they’re a good fit for you than it will on what degree is hanging on their office wall.

 

Finding Possibilities

People looking for a therapist can use any of several resources to find providers that match what they’re looking for. Sometimes, family and friends recommend therapists that they’ve had good experiences with—while that can work, keep in mind that those close to you may not have sought therapy for the same reasons you did. You should give those recommendations the same scrutiny you would to any potential therapist.

Another resource that can be used is the list of providers maintained by your insurance company, if your plan includes mental health coverage. While this can be helpful in determining who might accept your insurance, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to find an available specialist in your area without a significant wait. In addition, insurance may apply additional constraints on the amount or frequency of your therapy sessions. Being willing to consider out of network providers may be your best bet for finding the right therapeutic fit both in terms of provider and course of treatment.

Online directories maintained by mental health organizations and other groups may also let you search for therapists in your area. Knowing what condition or issue you’d like to get help for can help refine your search results, but it can still require significant work to create a manageable list of providers who are accepting patients and have the right specialty, to say nothing of finding the right one.

 

Making It Easy to Find Your Match

Because we know that a good fit is such an important part of setting the stage for success in therapy, at SF Stress each patient starts with a complimentary call with one of our compassionate Care Coordinators. This fifteen-minute intake call is designed to explore what you’re looking for with therapy, what type of therapy is most suited for your needs and preferences, and ultimately, which therapist in our network of over 40 licensed psychologists and counselors will be the right match for you. Rather than waiting endlessly for providers to call you back, you can schedule your consultation right away—we’re usually able to accommodate same-day or next-day consultations. We offer both in-person and online therapy to make treatment accessible and convenient.

If you’re tired of waiting to get started on improving your mental health, SF Stress & Anxiety Center can help. Schedule your free consultation today to find the right therapist for you.

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Understanding Depression: Why Depression Is Not a Moral Failure and How to Overcome It with Effective Help

Depression is a complex mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. Despite the growing awareness, many still believe that depression is a sign of weakness or a moral failing. However, understanding depression as a medical condition can help dismantle this stigma and open the door to seeking depression help.

What is Depression?

Depression is more than feeling sad; it’s a mood disorder that impacts how a person thinks, feels, and handles daily activities. Common symptoms of depression include a lack of energy, changes in sleep patterns, loss of interest in social activities, and persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. There are various types of depression, including major depressive disorder and persistent depressive disorder, each with unique challenges.

Depression is Not a Moral Failure

Depression can lead to self-criticism, causing individuals to feel as though they’re at fault for their condition. This misunderstanding can prevent people from seeking help, as they may worry about how family members and friends view them. Depression is a medical condition influenced by factors like genetics, brain chemistry, and life experiences, not a reflection of a person’s character.

The Impact of Depression on Daily Life

People with depression may struggle with simple daily tasks, including work, maintaining relationships, and taking care of themselves. The loss of interest in physical activity and social interactions is common, making it harder to engage with the world. This withdrawal can worsen feelings of isolation and further impact mental health.

 

Treatments for Depression

Seeking depression help can make a significant difference in managing symptoms and improving quality of life. SF Stress & Anxiety Center offers evidence-based treatments such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). These therapies help individuals challenge unhelpful thought patterns and develop healthier ways to cope with depression.

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is highly effective in treating depression by helping individuals identify and modify negative thought patterns.
  • Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT): DBT combines mindfulness with cognitive techniques, providing tools to manage emotional responses and build resilience.

Ready to take the first step? Schedule a free consultation with SF Stress & Anxiety Center to learn how our experienced therapists can support you.

Self-Care and Lifestyle Changes

While therapy is a cornerstone of treatment, lifestyle changes can also aid in overcoming depression. Engaging in regular exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, and establishing a consistent sleep routine can contribute to overall mental health. Connecting with a mental health professional can provide guidance on developing a self-care plan tailored to individual needs.

Overcoming Depression

Overcoming depression is a journey that requires patience, resilience, and often professional support. By seeking help, individuals can take steps toward understanding depression and reclaiming their lives. SF Stress & Anxiety Center’s experienced therapists are here to help you navigate this journey with compassion and expertise.

Depression is not a moral failure; it’s a treatable mental health condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, consider reaching out for support. You deserve to feel better, and with the right help, you can take control of your mental health and find a path to healing.

 

Get Started on Your Path to Recovery

Taking action against depression is a sign of strength. By reaching out to professionals who specialize in mental health, you’re making a choice to prioritize your well-being. SF Stress & Anxiety Center is dedicated to helping you achieve a happier, healthier life through personalized, evidence-based care. Click here to schedule your consultation and begin your journey to overcoming depression today.

 

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Psychotherapy: What Is It, How Does It Work, and What Is the Goal?

The last few years have been hard on everyone’s mental health. According to a recent report by the Pew Research Center, 41% of U.S. adults have experienced high levels of psychological distress at some point from March 2020 to September 2022. Young adults, ages 18 to 29, were even harder hit, with 58% reporting high psychological distress at least once in that time. The silver lining is that people are becoming more aware of the need to care for their mental health—with an estimated 1 in 5 Americans living with mental illness per the National Institute of Mental Health, it’s a timely reminder for anyone struggling with a challenging situation or negative thoughts that seeking help is a good idea when you’re finding it difficult to cope on your own. Psychotherapy is an effective way to help resolve issues and treat mental health conditions, but people may not have an accurate idea of what it really is and the positive difference it can make.

 

What Is Psychotherapy and How Does It Work?

Psychotherapy, also known as “talk therapy,” is a broad term for treatment to improve mental health by talking to a mental health professional such as a psychologist, counselor, or other licensed practitioner. Therapeutic approaches that fall under this general umbrella term are intended to help people identify unhealthy emotions, thoughts, and behaviors and learn to replace them with healthy coping skills that improve their ability to function and their well-being. While psychotherapy is recommended for depression, anxiety, personality disorders, eating disorders, and a wide range of other mental health conditions, it can also help people adjust to life changes and stresses that they are finding difficult to manage.

There are many different types of psychotherapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), interpersonal therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and more. Many therapists specialize in one type or blend elements from different approaches to best serve their patients. Psychologists, licensed marriage and family therapists, licensed professional clinical counselors, and licensed clinical social workers are among the mental health professionals qualified to provide psychotherapy.

In addition to individual therapy, psychotherapy can also help when the difficulty lies in a relationship, as in couples therapy or family therapy. In these cases, work is centered around improving communication and patterns of interaction between partners or family members, rather than focusing on one person. Group therapy, in which a therapist leads a group of unrelated people often dealing with similar troubling issues or experiences, is another option. For example, a bereavement group can help participants feel less alone when dealing with the loss of a loved one, while benefiting from the professional guidance of a therapist who can advise them on navigating the grief process. The type of therapy that will be right for you is highly individual—the best measure is what makes you feel comfortable and what works to improve your quality of life.

 

What Is the Goal of Psychotherapy?

While the specific goals of psychotherapy will vary from person to person, depending on what situation brought them to therapy, the purpose overall is to treat mental disorders and emotional challenges through psychological means. Through conversations with a therapist, the patient gains a better understanding of themselves, learns to change behaviors that are preventing them from living the life they want, and develops healthy coping mechanisms to meet life’s challenges.

How long that takes depends on each case: some patients need only a limited number of sessions to deal with a specific issue, while others who are faced with a chronic condition or complex, long-standing situations may benefit from long-term treatment. The goals you and your therapist set will help determine the treatment plan that is best for you.

 

How Effective Is Psychotherapy?

Studies indicate that 75% of people who receive psychotherapy benefit from it. Research also shows that psychotherapy is equally effective whether it is delivered through in-person sessions or remotely, via teletherapy. This means that busy schedules and/or limits to how far you can travel to see the right therapist don’t have to be a barrier to getting the help you need.

Of course, psychotherapy requires active, willing participation to be most effective. During treatment, you’ll be learning new ways of looking at difficult situations and new skills for resolving them—attending appointments regularly, completing homework assignments between sessions, and practicing what you’ve learned will help your therapy have the greatest positive effect.

 

Investing in Your Well-Being

Psychotherapy can help alleviate mental suffering and lay the groundwork for living a healthier, happier life. If you’re ready to make a positive change, the compassionate Care Coordinators at SF Stress can help. With a free complimentary phone consultation, they’ll match you with one of our more than 40 qualified therapists for in-person therapy in one of our California locations or online therapy via a secure, HIPAA-compliant platform. Schedule your free consultation today to get started.

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4 Practical Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System

Approximately 30% of modern adults will experience symptoms of anxiety disorders in their lifetime. Not just anxiety. An anxiety disorder. 

Our society has more access to news and information than any previous civilization in history. It’s often our phone that we see first thing in the morning, full of headlines that pump our adrenaline and send our nervous system into a state of panic.

As a result, the constant influx of adrenaline can exhaust our nervous system, making it harder for our bodies to deal with the stress we experience on a daily basis.

Symptoms of an overactive nervous system include:

  • Anxiety
  • Insomnia
  • Panic attacks
  • Feelings of hopelessness
  • Exhaustion
  • Hypertension (high blood pressure)
  • Poor digestion
  • Insulin resistance

Social media prescribes self-care baths, wine, and Netflix as the primary way to de-stress. While these activities may be enjoyable, they are only band aids for deeper problems. Your nervous system requires more than just sitting back and watching TV, it must be reset through targeted healing practices. 

The good news is that these targeted practices can easily be incorporated into your daily routine. Once you begin implementing them, you’ll feel calmer in the face of daily stressors.

 

Why is Calming the Nervous System Important?

The primary (central) nervous system is located in the brain and spinal cord. This is the command center for sending important messages throughout the body. The primary nervous system allows you to breathe, move, think, and function under pressure.

The peripheral nervous system is connected to the central nervous system by branching out across the body to reach all of our organs and limbs. 

There’s also the famous vagus nerve which runs from the brain down through the neck and abdomen and regulates many parts of the body, including the digestive system.

An overworked nervous system can cause your body to enter a chronic fight-or-flight response. This is when your body thinks it’s in danger — even when it’s not.

For instance, when you see traumatic events on the news, your nervous system thinks that you’re in danger even though you are not. As a result, your adrenals release stress hormones, sending your cells into high alert. Clearly, this is not a recipe for a healthy lifestyle.

Keeping the nervous system calm is crucial for a longer, healthier life. In doing so, you’ll replace your anxiety with feelings of contentment and gratitude. Stress will be less noticeable in your daily life, and you’ll give your body space to focus on healing itself — physically and emotionally.

 

How to Calm the Nervous System

Healing your nervous system doesn’t always require prescription pills or fancy equipment. (However, you should consult a doctor if you are experiencing symptoms)

Here are some simple and accessible practices and tools you can use to reset your nervous system. 

  1. Deep Breathing Practices

Using deep breathing techniques, you can repair your nervous system naturally. If you’re in a state of panic, box breathing, diaphragmatic breathing, and alternate nostril breathing can help you calm down. Meditation or yoga paired with deep breathing is also a great option, even if you only have 5 or 10 minutes to spare. 

  1. EFT Tapping or Acupuncture

You can’t always escape stressful situations. Some days, it may seem that simply existing at your job — or even at home — can cause your blood pressure to rise. If this is the case, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping or acupuncture can restore your body’s natural balance.

Originally developed in ancient Chinese medicine, these techniques are used to balance your body’s energy. They are based on the idea that unblocking energy channels can help you release painful emotions.

You can learn EFT tapping at home or get acupuncture treatment from a local specialist. Nowadays, there is even needle-free laser acupuncture for those who dislike needles. 

  1. Forest Bathing (Aka, Hiking or Walking Outside)

Grounding, fresh air, and gentle exercise. It is well known that these elements possess incredible healing abilities and are capable of controlling the nervous system. Remember the last time you immersed yourself in nature. After a few minutes with your bare feet on the ground, did you feel your stress start to slowly melt away?

In Japan, forest bathing is used as a treatment for a wide variety of ailments. A simple walk in the trees can do your body and mind wonders. You don’t need to walk for a long time or to go anywhere special – just allow yourself to be fully present and relaxed.

  1. Decrease Your Adrenaline Output

Is it possible that watching intense TV shows or listening to true crime podcasts is giving your body a high level of adrenaline? It’s important to remember that your nervous system cannot distinguish between a stressful event on TV and one in real life.

Whenever the body receives large amounts of adrenaline (through a traumatic event or long-term stress), it may begin to crave more adrenaline to get its “high.” This is similar to the adrenaline junkies who climb rocks or seek dangerous activities in order to feel that rush. 

If you find yourself checking off a mental to-do list in the car or in the shower — only to become anxious the moment you face reality, chances are that your body is looking for adrenaline.

Consider temporarily switching out activities that spike your adrenaline for calmer ones. For example, watch all your favorite rom-coms or pick low-intensity workouts next time you’re at the gym. As a result, you will be able to calm your nervous system and help it heal naturally.

 

Benefits of Maintaining a Calm Nervous System 

These tips and tricks aren’t just for calming panic attacks. A reset of your nervous system opens up all kinds of possibilities, such as: 

  • Improved emotional health
  • Better brain function
  • Longer attention span
  • Better performance at work and at home
  • Decreased risk for disease
  • Improved sleep
  • Normal blood pressure

Check-in with yourself both before and after you try these suggestions. Can you feel your energy softening or calming? Starting small can help you practice regular nervous system regulation, which is helpful in a time that feels particularly overwhelming. In time, your body will begin to relax and regulate naturally, without the need for quick fixes.

If you’re looking for more ways to regulate your nervous system and manage stress in your life, consider seeking professional support from SF Stress & Anxiety Center. Our team of experienced therapists can help you develop personalized strategies to reduce anxiety and improve your overall wellbeing. Don’t let stress control your life any longer, take the first step towards a calmer, more fulfilling future and book an appointment with us today.

SF Stress & Anxiety Center Free Consultation

How to Deal with Anxiety at Work

No matter what job you have, it’s normal to occasionally feel anxiety at work. Taking on a new responsibility, giving a presentation to a group, or facing a looming deadline can all ratchet up the pressure, leaving you feeling nervous about performing to expectations and to the best of your ability. However, the anxiety and stress some people experience at work go well beyond the ordinary jitters you might feel over a temporary professional challenge. When anxiety is excessive and/or persistent, it can become debilitating, interfering not only with your ability to do your job effectively, but also with your overall well-being.

Unfortunately, workplace stress that can contribute to anxiety is an all-too-common phenomenon. According to the Occupational Health and Safety Administration, 83% of U.S. workers suffer from work-related stress, with 54% of workers reporting that their home life is affected by work stress. With work-related stress so prevalent, it can be difficult for people to immediately perceive that the level of anxiety they’re experiencing on the job is not healthy. Anxiety and stress do not have to be an invariable feature of professional life, however—it is possible to learn how to reduce anxiety at work for better mental health both in and away from the office.

 

What Does Workplace Anxiety Look Like? 

When people struggle to cope with anxiety at work, that difficulty can manifest in myriad ways. You might find your stomach in knots on Sunday night at the prospect of working the next day. Maybe you procrastinate on work-related tasks, paralyzed into inaction by your anxiety. Or perhaps you can’t focus on what you need to do and end up rushing through assignments or missing key details because you’re so overwhelmed. You may also increasingly avoid new projects, meetings, or work events. While at first, you may be able to power through your symptoms to try to stay on top of your responsibilities, over time, your work performance, work quality, and relationships with your colleagues can suffer.

Physical symptoms can also accompany anxiety about work. These may include headaches, gastrointestinal upset, insomnia (that doesn’t have any other obvious causes), tension and/or muscular pain, fatigue, nausea, dizziness, or even full-blown panic attacks. You may miss work more and more often, either coming in late or taking sick days because your anxiety has become so intense.

If any of this sounds familiar, it’s also likely that you’re not even sure when your work anxiety became unbearable. It doesn’t have to stay that way, though.

 

Tips to Manage Anxiety at Work

There are many strategies for reducing work anxiety, and doing so successfully will require a multi-pronged approach. Here are a few tips on how to manage anxiety at work so you can be happier and more productive at your job.

Pay attention to your overall wellness: While good nutrition, adequate sleep, and regular exercise won’t solve anxiety problems on their own, the lack of them will almost certainly exacerbate the physical and mental symptoms of anxiety. Try to avoid using too much caffeine, alcohol, or other substances as well.

Identify your triggers: Workplace stress and anxiety can spring from a variety of sources: The pressure to meet deadlines. High-stakes presentations for upper management or clients. Conflict with difficult coworkers. Take note of the situations that provoke your anxiety, as this information will help point the way to solutions.

Develop coping techniques: Because it is so easy to get swept up in worry, you should practice coping strategies that will help calm you and keep you grounded in the present moment when you feel anxiety start to build. This might mean meditation techniques, listening to music, breathing exercises, taking a quick walk—what works is highly individual, so experiment to find what works best for you.

Communicate with your employer: Some people may hesitate to tell their employer when they’re struggling with anxiety, and whether you do so is a personal choice. However, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) is designed to protect employees from discrimination due to a physical or mental disability when they are otherwise qualified to do their job, so you should not assume that being honest will have a catastrophic effect on your career. Moreover, speaking up allows your workplace to put reasonable accommodations in place that can help in reducing anxiety or to correct situations that are unintentionally contributing to your stress. For example, if a too-heavy workload or inadequate training is part of the problem, it’s important to let management know so that solutions can be found.

Set healthy boundaries: Some work anxiety can stem from a lack of work-life balance when it feels like you can’t ever escape work responsibilities. Make sure you have clear separations that define your workday, even if you work remotely—this means setting specific hours in which you don’t check your email or work messages and having a defined work space, so you have regular downtime to decompress.

Take advantage of employer-provided resources: If your company offers an employee assistance program, see if it provides benefits that might help you manage your anxiety. Other perks, such as a gym membership, may also help by facilitating useful coping strategies.

Consult a mental health professional: A therapist or counselor can provide valuable expertise and outside perspective on your situation. Often people are inspired to look for a therapist when they’ve already tried to manage anxiety on their own without success, but seeking professional advice doesn’t have to wait until things feel out of control. A mental health professional can help you figure out the cause of your anxiety and make effective changes to reduce it.

 

Finding Relief from Anxiety at Work

At the SF Stress and Anxiety Center, we help clients suffering from work anxiety develop psychological resilience and find balance with evidence-based practices grounded in research. With both in-person and online therapy sessions available, we make treatment accessible no matter how busy your schedule. To be matched with the right specialist who can help you feel more in control of your career and your life, schedule your free introductory phone call with one of our compassionate Care Coordinators today.

 

SF Stress & Anxiety Center Free Consultation

How to Get the Most Out of Couples Therapy

Every relationship has moments of conflict or stress. Sometimes couples are able to work through these periods on their own, but other times they find themselves having the same argument over and over, feeling distant from one another, or failing to communicate effectively. Maybe they can’t quite pinpoint what seems to be out of sync. Or perhaps they’re all too aware of their unhealthy patterns of conflict but aren’t sure how to change them. In these cases, couples therapy can help improve the dynamic and rebuild the relationship.

Unfortunately, misconceptions about couples therapy may prevent partners from seeking help until problems have become entrenched. It’s not true that “good couples” should be able to solve all their problems on their own, or that therapy is only a last resort for relationships in serious trouble. Couples counseling is an investment in your relationship that can help strengthen your bonds and give you essential insight into how to create positive change so that both partners feel more fulfilled and connected. It isn’t even necessary to wait for a problem to arise—some couples preemptively seek therapy when they’re navigating a life change like getting married, having children, or changing jobs to ensure that their relationship stays strong.

If you’ve reached the point where you feel your relationship could benefit from the professional guidance of a couples counselor, knowing what to expect and how to prepare will help you make the most out of your therapy.

 

What To Expect from Couples Therapy

The first thing to know about couples therapy is that it is not about “fixing” one partner or deciding who is “right” or “wrong” about the issues that have brought you in. Instead, couples therapy is about examining your relationship and interactions that have created problems in the past so that ineffective patterns can be replaced by healthier ones. Unlike individual therapy, the focus is not on you, but on both partners as a unit. Your therapist provides a nonjudgmental outside perspective to help identify the ways in which you both may contribute to a dysfunctional dynamic, and helps you change your behavior, improve your communication, and become more effective partners to each other.

Keep in mind that couples therapy is likely to make you feel vulnerable. After all, you’ll be discussing issues that may feel embarrassing or painful, or that are deeply personal and intimate. Choosing the right therapist—someone who specializes in couples therapy and who both partners feel comfortable opening up to in a therapy session—is essential for the process to produce the results you’re hoping for.

 

How to Prepare for Couples Counseling

The most important step you can make to prepare for couples counseling is for both partners to be willing to work at it. Commonly, one member of the couple may suggest counseling, while the other may feel more hesitant. It’s okay if both partners aren’t equally enthusiastic at the start, but both must be sincere about their efforts to address their issues together with a therapist. If one partner is unwilling to engage in the process, it will be impossible to make progress.

Next, take some time before your first session to think about the issues that are bringing you to therapy in the first place. It’s best if you and your partner can discuss your concerns and goals together, but if that is not possible, you should each take some time to reflect beforehand. Knowing the specific problems you’d like to solve—such as communication issues or lack of intimacy—will help you set relevant goals, as well as helping to keep your sessions focused on what you want to achieve.

Try to go into counseling with an open mind and the idea that meaningful change takes time. It may take a few sessions before you both feel fully comfortable in relationship therapy, and it’s likely to take several months for you to explore the issues in your relationship and work to establish new, healthier patterns.

 

What You Can Do to Make Couples Therapy More Effective

Once you’ve started therapy, how you undertake the process has a profound effect on what you get out of it. Some tips for getting the most out of it include:

  • Make sure you schedule your appointments for a time and date that works for you both and make those sessions a priority.
  • Do your best to complete any homework assignments you receive from your therapist. The idea is to help you practice and reinforce the new skills you’re learning, so neglecting this step is a missed opportunity for growth. (If a particular assignment is hard, make sure to discuss it in your next session.)
  • Focus on changing yourself rather than attempting to change your partner. Nobody can control somebody else’s behaviors, but if each of you sincerely work toward addressing your own issues, you increase the odds you can fix your relationship problems together. 

 

Find a Therapist

At SF Stress and Anxiety Center, our couples therapists and counselors draw on approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and The Gottman Method, which are based in relationship science. We have decades of experience helping couples build the healthy relationships they desire with research-tested, evidence-based methods. With both in-person and online sessions available, we make therapy accessible and convenient even when your schedules are hectic. We begin with a free question-and-answer call with one of our compassionate Care Coordinators to match you with the right couples therapy specialist in our network of expert providers. To get started reclaiming the intimacy, closeness, and harmony you’ve been missing in your relationship, schedule your free introductory phone consultation now.

What Type of Therapy Is Right for Me?

What Type of Therapy Is Right for Me & What Kind of Therapist Do I Need?

Often, the biggest step in seeking out therapy is deciding you need it—acknowledging that your mental health could benefit from talking to a professional can take courage. Once you’ve made that decision, the next question becomes, “What type of therapist do I need?” Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all proposition, so finding both the right kind of therapy and the right therapist to address your individual needs is essential for getting the most out of your experience. Understanding some basics about your options can help you find a therapist appropriate for your situation.

 

Misconceptions about Therapy

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the percentage of adults of all ages who received treatment for their mental health increased from 19.2% in 2019 to 21.6% in 2021. This growth may mostly be a sign of the stressful times we’ve all been through in the past few years, but it also shows that seeking therapy is not a rare phenomenon. The truth is, almost everyone will encounter a time in their life when they could benefit from therapy. Some, however, might be discouraged from pursuing it by common misconceptions.

The first misconception is that therapy is only for those with diagnosed (or suspected) mental health conditions. While therapy is beneficial for people who know they’re struggling with anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems, it’s also a powerful tool for dealing with issues that may seem more “ordinary,” such as constantly feeling overwhelmed or stressed out.

Another mistaken view is that going to therapy means you’re weak or unable to solve your own problems. In fact, it takes both strength and wisdom to acknowledge that you could use help and to take action to tackle issues head-on. Finally, therapy is not just talk—it’s a way to help you build self-awareness, cultivate healthier patterns of thought and behavior, and develop coping skills to navigate life’s challenges.

 

Different Types of Therapy

There are many different types of therapy, and the right one for you depends both on your personality and your reasons for seeking treatment. Again, there’s no one “correct” way to approach therapy, and what might be effective for one person may not work as well for another. Some common types of therapy include:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is a kind of psychotherapy (talk therapy) based on the idea that patterns of negative thoughts and behaviors are a factor behind psychological conditions, and that learning to change those patterns can help you view and respond to challenging situations more effectively. CBT is structured and goal-oriented, taking place over a limited number of therapy sessions.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT is another type of psychotherapy based on the principles of CBT that focuses on how thoughts affect emotions and behaviors. DBT is considered especially effective for those who have trouble managing intense negative emotions. Features of this approach include teaching mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotional regulation.

Psychodynamic Therapy: Psychodynamic therapy is in-depth talk therapy based on the principles of psychoanalysis. This therapy is focused on the “why” behind thoughts and actions, helping patients gain insight into how past experiences shape their current behavior and relationships. With this knowledge, patients can work on changing patterns that no longer serve them.

Mindfulness Based Therapy: This type of therapy uses mindfulness strategies to develop the ability to experience thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them. This can help break spiraling patterns of negative thoughts that can lead to anxiety or depression and which interfere with the ability to be fully present in the moment. Therapeutic approaches include Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction.

Couples Therapy: Couples therapy is a means for partners to gain a better understanding of their relationship dynamics and work toward interacting and communicating in a healthier way. While couples might go for counseling to address a specific problem or ongoing frustration in their relationship, couples therapy can also be used proactively to preserve healthy bonds when partners are experiencing a period of transition. For instance, counseling before marriage, when becoming parents, or when one partner is going through a significant career change can help keep a relationship strong in the face of increased stress.

 

How Does Therapy Work?

Therapy is a very individual process, so each person’s experience will vary depending on their treatment goals and circumstances. However, there are some common features you can expect. In your initial appointment, your potential therapist will ask about what brings you to therapy and what you’re hoping to get out of it. They’ll also explain their approach so you can determine if it sounds like the right fit for you. If you have any questions, be sure to ask them. Your therapist will want you to understand how treatment works so you can feel comfortable with the process.

The amount of time you will spend in therapy or the number of sessions you may have will be different depending on the therapeutic approach, your mental health concerns, and other individual factors. Your therapist may also assign “homework”—for example, journaling or exercises to do outside of the office—to support the work you do during your sessions.

 

How Do I Find a Therapist?

When looking for a therapist, many people rely on word of mouth or the recommendations of friends and family. Sometimes this works, but it may not be successful unless your mental health needs and goals are similar to those of the person making the referral. Online directories of providers can also be difficult to navigate, as they often provide limited information about services and may not give you a good sense of what to expect.  

At the SF Stress and Anxiety Center, we know it can be hard to find a therapist to meet your specific needs. That’s why our process starts with a free question-and-answer call with one of our compassionate Care Coordinators to help match you to one of our more than 40 licensed psychologists and counselors. We offer in-person therapy at our various California locations or online sessions via a secure, HIPAA-compliant platform.

Don’t wait to make a positive change. To find the right therapist to help you meet your mental health goals, schedule your free introductory phone consultation with SF Stress today.

Healthy New Year’s Resolutions for Your Mental Health

The start of a new year is a natural time to take stock of our lives and decide to make positive changes going forward. Often these insights lead us to set New Year’s resolutions around the goals we’d like to achieve: Lose weight. Exercise more. Eat healthier food. Save more money. 

While physical health and finances are typical topics of such resolutions, after the turmoil of the last few years, more people recognize mental health and wellbeing as a priority in the upcoming year. According to a Forbes Health / One Poll survey conducted in November 2022, 45% of respondents cited an improvement in mental health as one of their top New Year’s resolutions.

Just as familiar as setting New Year’s resolutions, however, is the idea that most of those resolutions are doomed to fail. That may make you hesitate to set a goal, but it isn’t entirely accurate. Readiness to change is vital to the success of any resolution, so if you find yourself inspired to do things differently in 2023, you’ve already made a significant step in the right direction. You can also improve your odds by considering how you make your mental health resolutions for the new year. Here are some tips to help set yourself up for success.

 

How You Set Your Goals Matters

Before you choose what aspect of your mental health you want to focus on, it helps to consider that how you set your resolution up can influence its likelihood of success. First, choose realistic goals. Small, sustainable actions that can be maintained over the long term are more likely to lead to lasting change than trying to make dramatic alterations all at once.

Try to set specific goals with concrete steps. While setting a vague goal can feel more flexible, it can also make it difficult to assess whether you’re making progress or to feel like you’re doing enough. For example, if you want to practice gratitude, your goal could be jotting down one or two things you feel grateful for in a journal at the same time each day. Keeping the action simple and attainable will help you build and maintain positive habits.

Most importantly, you should approach your goals with the knowledge that setbacks will happen. Perfection is not necessary to make progress—to use the example above, if you missed a day (or three) of journaling because work was overwhelming, the answer is to pick up again when you can, not quit.

 

New Year Mental Health Tips

It’s one thing to know that you want to improve your mental health in the new year, but another to know where to start. Some simple suggestions to try include:

Paying attention to the way you talk to yourself. People can develop a tendency to judge themselves harshly. Listen to the things you tell yourself internally—would you talk to a friend that way? If not, try to replace negative thoughts with more kind, forgiving words.

Limiting screen time. With current news and social media always at our fingertips, it can be hard to limit exposure even when it stresses us out. However, putting your phone and computer away, especially before bedtime, is essential for allowing ourselves to decompress from consuming a steady diet of bad news or comparing ourselves unfairly to other people’s highly curated versions of their lives.

Taking care of your body. Mental and physical health are linked, so making positive changes for your physical wellbeing can help improve your state of mind. This can be as simple as going for a short walk each day, going to bed a half hour earlier to get more sleep, or adding a serving of fruit or vegetables to your diet.  

Reaching out to a mental health professional. If you’re suffering from anxiety and depression, your own efforts to boost your mental health in the past haven’t been successful, or you’re just feeling stuck, the right therapist can be a catalyst for positive change. You don’t have to wait until things feel out of control to benefit from an impartial listener who can give you a new perspective and techniques to promote better mental health.

 

Individualized, Convenient Therapy

At the San Francisco Stress and Anxiety Center, we know that anxiety and stress impact every facet of your life. We offer accessible therapy in person or online to fit your busy lifestyle. Our evidence-based treatment helps you meet your goals with research-tested, structured, proven interventions. If you’re ready to make your New Year’s resolution for better mental health stick, schedule a free introductory phone consultation with an SF Stress Care Coordinator to get started.

6 Tips for Surviving the Quarantine With Your Partner

If you live with a partner coronavirus quarantine isn’t just about managing your own needs and anxieties. It’s about finding a way to coexist with someone and all of their needs and anxieties, every minute of every day in a confined space for an undisclosed amount of time. If you think that should be easy because you already live together and love one another, you’re wrong, and you know it.

For some couples, being stuck inside together in their own little bubble for a few weeks sounds like a dream come true. But for other couples, this could be their worst nightmare. If you’re feeling stressed out about the impact of coronavirus on your relationship, know that you’re not alone, and your nervous reaction to being quarantined with your partner is normal.  Even for the strongest couples, spending every waking minute of the day together (and night times too) can really throw any incompatibilities into sharp focus.

Here are some tips to help your union survive and thrive during the quarantine.

TALK TO EACH OTHER 

Communication is essential for a happy relationship on a good day, and all the more so during times of distress.

Venting about life and the current circumstances in the world is a great way to de-stress and connect with your partner. You will no doubt feel comforted by their love and support while you express yourself.

Just remember that dwelling on negative subjects can bring down morale and may cause your partner unnecessary stress, so don’t forget to communicate about the positives in your life as well. And when talking, be aware that listening is just as important. Take this time to learn how to really hear each other.

CREATE A SCHEDULE 

Most of us rely on schedules for a sense of stability and even to combat things like anxiety and depression. So, without our normal 9-to-5 routines, tempers might already be a little frayed.

Try minimizing conflicts by creating a rough schedule to add some structure to your days together. Create new routines to give life meaning and purpose beyond the mundane. It can be helpful to assign roles for each day: who cooks, who cleans, who is on diaper duty, and so on. Depending on both of your work styles and requirements, understanding what each other’s days look like can help foresee any issues and areas where you can compromise.

SHOW RESPECT AND KINDNESS 

It’s tempting to barge into your partner’s office when you have an interesting thought and know for a fact he or she is in there but do so respectfully. Knock on the door, check if they are busy, and ask if they have time to talk for a minute.

You and your partner may not always be on the same page during this quarantine and that’s okay Remember to show some respect to your partner’s work, personal space, and indulgences before invading.

We are all trying to figure out this “new normal”, and our daily habits and priorities are bound to change as we adjust. Be patient with your partner.

FIND NEW THINGS TO DO TOGETHER 

One of the biggest strains on your relationship is going to be boredom, stuck in the same place with little outside distraction.

If you’re in lockdown, you’re probably seeing a lot more of your partner than ever before – so it’s important to find new things to do together. Share in each other’s passions, cook a new cuisine together, start a DIY project together, enjoy the extra time in bed to try something new, write a list of all the things you’re going to do as a couple when this uncertainty eventually ends. There are tons of ways to make some happy memories and keep your spirits high while you’re safe at home. Look at this as an opportunity to grow closer. Making memories now could be stories you share forever.

SPEND TIME ALONE 

Part of a healthy relationship is being able to spend time by yourself. Couples don’t have to be together 24/7 – even during a lockdown! Take time to do the things you want to do. Practice your own hobbies, keep in contact with friends and family, journal, exercise alone and practice solo self-care.

When you feel a little suffocated and want some peace and quiet to binge a show or nap without judgement, calmly give your partner a smile and say, “I’m going to head to the bedroom for some quiet time. Could you give me an hour or two alone?” A smile lets them know that this is for your sanity, not because of them, and adding a clear time frame lets them know you are serious and helps you both create boundaries during your time in separate corners.

This will help you to feel connected with yourself which, in turn, will make you a better person for your partner to be around. It’s healthy to take your me-time, even if you’re isolating together.

GIVE GRACE 

Give yourself, and your partner, some grace during this unknown and anxious time. When anxiety and stress are heightened, our cortisol levels skyrocket and we can easily ‘snap’ at our spouse. When arguments occur, always follow through with repair work together. Own your emotions and your actions and leave room for grace with each other.

We have the ability to create a narrative of this chapter in our life. When you look back in a few years at this time in your life, how do you want to tell this story? How do you want to say this chapter in your life formed you individually and in your relationship?

We can choose to view this time as challenging or suffocating; or, we can choose to view this time as a time for internal reflection, relational building and learning, and intimate connection. This time in our world is new and unknown. We are all figuring this out together. We need the ongoing support from those around us to make it through.

We have couples therapists available to you if you and your partner wan to talk to a professional and make sure any issues don’t get worse. Feel free to reach out to us today.

 

How to Make Sure Social Distancing and Self-Isolation Don’t Hurt Your Mental Health

Across the country, people are being asked to work from home, universities are switching to virtual classes and large gatherings are being canceled. These are key strategies to prevent transmission of the coronavirus, but they can come at a social and mental-health cost: furthering our sense of isolation from one another and making us forget that we’re in this together.

As humans we are wired to be social creatures, coming together is often how we cope when a big disaster happens. Now, we’re being told to cope with this… by staying away from each other. Because social contact is such a fundamental human need, we can suffer both mentally and physically without it.

The goal of social distancing these days is to be separated, but not lonely. Here are some ways to remain social and combat loneliness during social distancing.

Make your social life a virtual one 

Investing in our relationships is one of the most important things we can do for our physical and emotional health—especially right now. Having close connections boosts our immune system, protects us from chronic health conditions, elevates our mood and helps us cope with stress…the very benefits so many of us are searching for as we shelter ourselves at home.

Instead of rapidly scrolling through though Facebook superficially commenting on posts, make a point to have meaningful interactions with just a few people. Be creative. Download an app you can play with friends, set up a virtual lunch date or ‘happy hour’ with friends or coworkers, even Netflix has an option to watch movies simultaneously with friends. As we are all working to be responsible and keep others at a safe distance, it’s equally important that we find ways to stay connected.

Do Something Comforting

Comfort is useful in coping with depression because it is a form of relief from the symptoms of depression. Feeling comforted means that you feel less of a negative feeling. Finding ways to give yourself comfort even when you are feeling lonely or depressed can help to improve your mental health. Below are some ideas of “comfort measures” that you can take even if you are alone.

  • Take some time for self-care. Put on a face mask, take a long bath, do what makes you feel pampered
  • Put on your headphones and listen to music that makes you feel good
  • Cook healthy comfort food
  • Revel in the joys of escapism. Give yourself permission to dive into your favorite shows on Netflix that make you smile
  • Have a cup of herbal tea and give yourself permission to relax even for just a few minutes
  • Light candles and cuddle up with a pet
  • Download a mediation app or follow a virtual mediation session

Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. Even amidst a pandemic, it’s okay to put things aside. Taking time to invest in you is important.

Keep your sense of humor 

Humor can help you cope. We’re all dealing with a difficult situation that none of us have ever faced before. It can be very challenging trying to adjust to this ‘new normal’ we are currently living in, but a little bit of laughter can make your days not quite so dreary. Life is more pleasurable when you keep positive and enjoy yourself despite the odds.

Keep sending memes to your friends. Don’t stop watching really silly movies. It’s okay to laugh at some parts of your situation, which is unprecedented. It is very easy to be very serious about everything right now. Of course, this is serious. There are people who are sick and people who are dying. But if you look throughout history, the worst situations, the people who get through it feeling best from a mental health standpoint are those who keep their humor.

Distract Yourself

Another way to boost your mental health is to find healthy distractions. This might come in the form of art, watching shows, listening to ebooks, or finding other activities that interest you. Below are some ideas to help.

  • Take a virtual exercise class
  • Listen to audiobooks or podcasts on topics you like
  • Watch TED talks on Youtube about things that interest you
  • Watch documentaries on topics you’ve wanted to catch up on
  • Use this time to learn a new language or computer program- there are many free courses available online
  • Play games that engage your mind such as Sudoku, crossword puzzles, solitaire, or online chess
  • Organize. A very good way to distract yourself productively is to do something to better organize your life. Cleaning your house can be an incredibly empowering thing to do, especially when you are feeling bad

Stay positive

When the news is mostly doom and gloom—as it has been since the outbreak of the coronavirus— it’s hard for even the most optimistic among us to stay positive.

Although it may seem frivolous to prioritize happiness during a crisis, we will still experience positive moments in our day-to-day lives, and there are several reasons why we should consider embracing those experiences. A positive attitude can go a long way in managing chaotic situations and display some sort of resolve against the odds. Accentuate the positives and focus on what you are able to do during this time.

In times of constant negative messaging, you need an antidote so that you can keep your positive attitude and march forward with determination and hope. Be deliberate in activities that are positive, heartwarming, stress-reducing and laughter-inducing! It’s going to be difficult at times, but we’ll get through this.