SF Stress & Anxiety Center, Author at SF Stress & Anxiety Center

4 Practical Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System

Posted on March 14, 2023 by SF Stress & Anxiety Center

Approximately 30% of modern adults will experience symptoms of anxiety disorders in their lifetime. Not just anxiety. An anxiety disorder.

Our society has more access to news and information than any previous civilization in history. It’s often our phone that we see first thing in the morning, full of headlines that pump our adrenaline and send our nervous system into a state of panic.

As a result, the constant influx of adrenaline can exhaust our nervous system, making it harder for our bodies to deal with the stress we experience on a daily basis.

Symptoms of an overactive nervous system include:

Anxiety
Insomnia
Panic attacks
Feelings of hopelessness
Exhaustion
Hypertension (high blood pressure)
Poor digestion
Insulin resistance

Social media prescribes self-care baths, wine, and Netflix as the primary way to de-stress. While these activities may be enjoyable, they are only band aids for deeper problems. Your nervous system requires more than just sitting back and watching TV, it must be reset through targeted healing practices.

The good news is that these targeted practices can easily be incorporated into your daily routine. Once you begin implementing them, you’ll feel calmer in the face of daily stressors.

Why is Calming the Nervous System Important?

The primary (central) nervous system is located in the brain and spinal cord. This is the command center for sending important messages throughout the body. The primary nervous system allows you to breathe, move, think, and function under pressure.

The peripheral nervous system is connected to the central nervous system by branching out across the body to reach all of our organs and limbs.

There’s also the famous vagus nerve which runs from the brain down through the neck and abdomen and regulates many parts of the body, including the digestive system.

An overworked nervous system can cause your body to enter a chronic fight-or-flight response. This is when your body thinks it’s in danger — even when it’s not.

For instance, when you see traumatic events on the news, your nervous system thinks that you’re in danger even though you are not. As a result, your adrenals release stress hormones, sending your cells into high alert. Clearly, this is not a recipe for a healthy lifestyle.

Keeping the nervous system calm is crucial for a longer, healthier life. In doing so, you’ll replace your anxiety with feelings of contentment and gratitude. Stress will be less noticeable in your daily life, and you’ll give your body space to focus on healing itself — physically and emotionally.

How to Calm the Nervous System

Healing your nervous system doesn’t always require prescription pills or fancy equipment. (However, you should consult a doctor if you are experiencing symptoms)

Here are some simple and accessible practices and tools you can use to reset your nervous system.

Deep Breathing Practices

Using deep breathing techniques, you can repair your nervous system naturally. If you’re in a state of panic, box breathing, diaphragmatic breathing, and alternate nostril breathing can help you calm down. Meditation or yoga paired with deep breathing is also a great option, even if you only have 5 or 10 minutes to spare.

EFT Tapping or Acupuncture

You can’t always escape stressful situations. Some days, it may seem that simply existing at your job — or even at home — can cause your blood pressure to rise. If this is the case, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping or acupuncture can restore your body’s natural balance.

Originally developed in ancient Chinese medicine, these techniques are used to balance your body’s energy. They are based on the idea that unblocking energy channels can help you release painful emotions.

You can learn EFT tapping at home or get acupuncture treatment from a local specialist. Nowadays, there is even needle-free laser acupuncture for those who dislike needles.

Forest Bathing (Aka, Hiking or Walking Outside)

Grounding, fresh air, and gentle exercise. It is well known that these elements possess incredible healing abilities and are capable of controlling the nervous system. Remember the last time you immersed yourself in nature. After a few minutes with your bare feet on the ground, did you feel your stress start to slowly melt away?

In Japan, forest bathing is used as a treatment for a wide variety of ailments. A simple walk in the trees can do your body and mind wonders. You don’t need to walk for a long time or to go anywhere special – just allow yourself to be fully present and relaxed.

Decrease Your Adrenaline Output

Is it possible that watching intense TV shows or listening to true crime podcasts is giving your body a high level of adrenaline? It’s important to remember that your nervous system cannot distinguish between a stressful event on TV and one in real life.

Whenever the body receives large amounts of adrenaline (through a traumatic event or long-term stress), it may begin to crave more adrenaline to get its “high.” This is similar to the adrenaline junkies who climb rocks or seek dangerous activities in order to feel that rush.

If you find yourself checking off a mental to-do list in the car or in the shower — only to become anxious the moment you face reality, chances are that your body is looking for adrenaline.

Consider temporarily switching out activities that spike your adrenaline for calmer ones. For example, watch all your favorite rom-coms or pick low-intensity workouts next time you’re at the gym. As a result, you will be able to calm your nervous system and help it heal naturally.

Benefits of Maintaining a Calm Nervous System

These tips and tricks aren’t just for calming panic attacks. A reset of your nervous system opens up all kinds of possibilities, such as:

Improved emotional health
Better brain function
Longer attention span
Better performance at work and at home
Decreased risk for disease
Improved sleep
Normal blood pressure

Check-in with yourself both before and after you try these suggestions. Can you feel your energy softening or calming? Starting small can help you practice regular nervous system regulation, which is helpful in a time that feels particularly overwhelming. In time, your body will begin to relax and regulate naturally, without the need for quick fixes.

If you’re looking for more ways to regulate your nervous system and manage stress in your life, consider seeking professional support from SF Stress & Anxiety Center. Our team of experienced therapists can help you develop personalized strategies to reduce anxiety and improve your overall wellbeing. Don’t let stress control your life any longer, take the first step towards a calmer, more fulfilling future and book an appointment with us today.

How to Deal with Anxiety at Work

Posted on February 19, 2023June 25, 2024 by SF Stress & Anxiety Center

No matter what job you have, it’s normal to occasionally feel anxiety at work. Taking on a new responsibility, giving a presentation to a group, or facing a looming deadline can all ratchet up the pressure, leaving you feeling nervous about performing to expectations and to the best of your ability. However, the anxiety and stress some people experience at work go well beyond the ordinary jitters you might feel over a temporary professional challenge. When anxiety is excessive and/or persistent, it can become debilitating, interfering not only with your ability to do your job effectively, but also with your overall well-being.

Unfortunately, workplace stress that can contribute to anxiety is an all-too-common phenomenon. According to the Occupational Health and Safety Administration, 83% of U.S. workers suffer from work-related stress, with 54% of workers reporting that their home life is affected by work stress. With work-related stress so prevalent, it can be difficult for people to immediately perceive that the level of anxiety they’re experiencing on the job is not healthy. Anxiety and stress do not have to be an invariable feature of professional life, however—it is possible to learn how to reduce anxiety at work for better mental health both in and away from the office.

What Does Workplace Anxiety Look Like?

When people struggle to cope with anxiety at work, that difficulty can manifest in myriad ways. You might find your stomach in knots on Sunday night at the prospect of working the next day. Maybe you procrastinate on work-related tasks, paralyzed into inaction by your anxiety. Or perhaps you can’t focus on what you need to do and end up rushing through assignments or missing key details because you’re so overwhelmed. You may also increasingly avoid new projects, meetings, or work events. While at first, you may be able to power through your symptoms to try to stay on top of your responsibilities, over time, your work performance, work quality, and relationships with your colleagues can suffer.

Physical symptoms can also accompany anxiety about work. These may include headaches, gastrointestinal upset, insomnia (that doesn’t have any other obvious causes), tension and/or muscular pain, fatigue, nausea, dizziness, or even full-blown panic attacks. You may miss work more and more often, either coming in late or taking sick days because your anxiety has become so intense.

If any of this sounds familiar, it’s also likely that you’re not even sure when your work anxiety became unbearable. It doesn’t have to stay that way, though.

Tips to Manage Anxiety at Work

There are many strategies for reducing work anxiety, and doing so successfully will require a multi-pronged approach. Here are a few tips on how to manage anxiety at work so you can be happier and more productive at your job.

Pay attention to your overall wellness: While good nutrition, adequate sleep, and regular exercise won’t solve anxiety problems on their own, the lack of them will almost certainly exacerbate the physical and mental symptoms of anxiety. Try to avoid using too much caffeine, alcohol, or other substances as well.

Identify your triggers: Workplace stress and anxiety can spring from a variety of sources: The pressure to meet deadlines. High-stakes presentations for upper management or clients. Conflict with difficult coworkers. Take note of the situations that provoke your anxiety, as this information will help point the way to solutions.

Develop coping techniques: Because it is so easy to get swept up in worry, you should practice coping strategies that will help calm you and keep you grounded in the present moment when you feel anxiety start to build. This might mean meditation techniques, listening to music, breathing exercises, taking a quick walk—what works is highly individual, so experiment to find what works best for you.

Communicate with your employer: Some people may hesitate to tell their employer when they’re struggling with anxiety, and whether you do so is a personal choice. However, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) is designed to protect employees from discrimination due to a physical or mental disability when they are otherwise qualified to do their job, so you should not assume that being honest will have a catastrophic effect on your career. Moreover, speaking up allows your workplace to put reasonable accommodations in place that can help in reducing anxiety or to correct situations that are unintentionally contributing to your stress. For example, if a too-heavy workload or inadequate training is part of the problem, it’s important to let management know so that solutions can be found.

Set healthy boundaries: Some work anxiety can stem from a lack of work-life balance when it feels like you can’t ever escape work responsibilities. Make sure you have clear separations that define your workday, even if you work remotely—this means setting specific hours in which you don’t check your email or work messages and having a defined work space, so you have regular downtime to decompress.

Take advantage of employer-provided resources: If your company offers an employee assistance program, see if it provides benefits that might help you manage your anxiety. Other perks, such as a gym membership, may also help by facilitating useful coping strategies.

Consult a mental health professional: A therapist or counselor can provide valuable expertise and outside perspective on your situation. Often people are inspired to look for a therapist when they’ve already tried to manage anxiety on their own without success, but seeking professional advice doesn’t have to wait until things feel out of control. A mental health professional can help you figure out the cause of your anxiety and make effective changes to reduce it.

Finding Relief from Anxiety at Work

At the SF Stress and Anxiety Center, we help clients suffering from work anxiety develop psychological resilience and find balance with evidence-based practices grounded in research. With both in-person and online therapy sessions available, we make treatment accessible no matter how busy your schedule. To be matched with the right specialist who can help you feel more in control of your career and your life, schedule your free introductory phone call with one of our compassionate Care Coordinators today.

How to Get the Most Out of Couples Therapy

Posted on February 18, 2023February 21, 2023 by SF Stress & Anxiety Center

Every relationship has moments of conflict or stress. Sometimes couples are able to work through these periods on their own, but other times they find themselves having the same argument over and over, feeling distant from one another, or failing to communicate effectively. Maybe they can’t quite pinpoint what seems to be out of sync. Or perhaps they’re all too aware of their unhealthy patterns of conflict but aren’t sure how to change them. In these cases, couples therapy can help improve the dynamic and rebuild the relationship.

Unfortunately, misconceptions about couples therapy may prevent partners from seeking help until problems have become entrenched. It’s not true that “good couples” should be able to solve all their problems on their own, or that therapy is only a last resort for relationships in serious trouble. Couples counseling is an investment in your relationship that can help strengthen your bonds and give you essential insight into how to create positive change so that both partners feel more fulfilled and connected. It isn’t even necessary to wait for a problem to arise—some couples preemptively seek therapy when they’re navigating a life change like getting married, having children, or changing jobs to ensure that their relationship stays strong.

If you’ve reached the point where you feel your relationship could benefit from the professional guidance of a couples counselor, knowing what to expect and how to prepare will help you make the most out of your therapy.

What To Expect from Couples Therapy

The first thing to know about couples therapy is that it is not about “fixing” one partner or deciding who is “right” or “wrong” about the issues that have brought you in. Instead, couples therapy is about examining your relationship and interactions that have created problems in the past so that ineffective patterns can be replaced by healthier ones. Unlike individual therapy, the focus is not on you, but on both partners as a unit. Your therapist provides a nonjudgmental outside perspective to help identify the ways in which you both may contribute to a dysfunctional dynamic, and helps you change your behavior, improve your communication, and become more effective partners to each other.

Keep in mind that couples therapy is likely to make you feel vulnerable. After all, you’ll be discussing issues that may feel embarrassing or painful, or that are deeply personal and intimate. Choosing the right therapist—someone who specializes in couples therapy and who both partners feel comfortable opening up to in a therapy session—is essential for the process to produce the results you’re hoping for.

How to Prepare for Couples Counseling

The most important step you can make to prepare for couples counseling is for both partners to be willing to work at it. Commonly, one member of the couple may suggest counseling, while the other may feel more hesitant. It’s okay if both partners aren’t equally enthusiastic at the start, but both must be sincere about their efforts to address their issues together with a therapist. If one partner is unwilling to engage in the process, it will be impossible to make progress.

Next, take some time before your first session to think about the issues that are bringing you to therapy in the first place. It’s best if you and your partner can discuss your concerns and goals together, but if that is not possible, you should each take some time to reflect beforehand. Knowing the specific problems you’d like to solve—such as communication issues or lack of intimacy—will help you set relevant goals, as well as helping to keep your sessions focused on what you want to achieve.

Try to go into counseling with an open mind and the idea that meaningful change takes time. It may take a few sessions before you both feel fully comfortable in relationship therapy, and it’s likely to take several months for you to explore the issues in your relationship and work to establish new, healthier patterns.

What You Can Do to Make Couples Therapy More Effective

Once you’ve started therapy, how you undertake the process has a profound effect on what you get out of it. Some tips for getting the most out of it include:

Make sure you schedule your appointments for a time and date that works for you both and make those sessions a priority.
Do your best to complete any homework assignments you receive from your therapist. The idea is to help you practice and reinforce the new skills you’re learning, so neglecting this step is a missed opportunity for growth. (If a particular assignment is hard, make sure to discuss it in your next session.)
Focus on changing yourself rather than attempting to change your partner. Nobody can control somebody else’s behaviors, but if each of you sincerely work toward addressing your own issues, you increase the odds you can fix your relationship problems together.

Find a Therapist

At SF Stress and Anxiety Center, our couples therapists and counselors draw on approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and The Gottman Method, which are based in relationship science. We have decades of experience helping couples build the healthy relationships they desire with research-tested, evidence-based methods. With both in-person and online sessions available, we make therapy accessible and convenient even when your schedules are hectic. We begin with a free question-and-answer call with one of our compassionate Care Coordinators to match you with the right couples therapy specialist in our network of expert providers. To get started reclaiming the intimacy, closeness, and harmony you’ve been missing in your relationship, schedule your free introductory phone consultation now.

What Type of Therapy Is Right for Me?

Posted on February 6, 2023 by SF Stress & Anxiety Center

What Type of Therapy Is Right for Me & What Kind of Therapist Do I Need?

Often, the biggest step in seeking out therapy is deciding you need it—acknowledging that your mental health could benefit from talking to a professional can take courage. Once you’ve made that decision, the next question becomes, “What type of therapist do I need?” Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all proposition, so finding both the right kind of therapy and the right therapist to address your individual needs is essential for getting the most out of your experience. Understanding some basics about your options can help you find a therapist appropriate for your situation.

Misconceptions about Therapy

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the percentage of adults of all ages who received treatment for their mental health increased from 19.2% in 2019 to 21.6% in 2021. This growth may mostly be a sign of the stressful times we’ve all been through in the past few years, but it also shows that seeking therapy is not a rare phenomenon. The truth is, almost everyone will encounter a time in their life when they could benefit from therapy. Some, however, might be discouraged from pursuing it by common misconceptions.

The first misconception is that therapy is only for those with diagnosed (or suspected) mental health conditions. While therapy is beneficial for people who know they’re struggling with anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems, it’s also a powerful tool for dealing with issues that may seem more “ordinary,” such as constantly feeling overwhelmed or stressed out.

Another mistaken view is that going to therapy means you’re weak or unable to solve your own problems. In fact, it takes both strength and wisdom to acknowledge that you could use help and to take action to tackle issues head-on. Finally, therapy is not just talk—it’s a way to help you build self-awareness, cultivate healthier patterns of thought and behavior, and develop coping skills to navigate life’s challenges.

Different Types of Therapy

There are many different types of therapy, and the right one for you depends both on your personality and your reasons for seeking treatment. Again, there’s no one “correct” way to approach therapy, and what might be effective for one person may not work as well for another. Some common types of therapy include:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is a kind of psychotherapy (talk therapy) based on the idea that patterns of negative thoughts and behaviors are a factor behind psychological conditions, and that learning to change those patterns can help you view and respond to challenging situations more effectively. CBT is structured and goal-oriented, taking place over a limited number of therapy sessions.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT is another type of psychotherapy based on the principles of CBT that focuses on how thoughts affect emotions and behaviors. DBT is considered especially effective for those who have trouble managing intense negative emotions. Features of this approach include teaching mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotional regulation.

Psychodynamic Therapy: Psychodynamic therapy is in-depth talk therapy based on the principles of psychoanalysis. This therapy is focused on the “why” behind thoughts and actions, helping patients gain insight into how past experiences shape their current behavior and relationships. With this knowledge, patients can work on changing patterns that no longer serve them.

Mindfulness Based Therapy: This type of therapy uses mindfulness strategies to develop the ability to experience thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them. This can help break spiraling patterns of negative thoughts that can lead to anxiety or depression and which interfere with the ability to be fully present in the moment. Therapeutic approaches include Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, and Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction.

Couples Therapy: Couples therapy is a means for partners to gain a better understanding of their relationship dynamics and work toward interacting and communicating in a healthier way. While couples might go for counseling to address a specific problem or ongoing frustration in their relationship, couples therapy can also be used proactively to preserve healthy bonds when partners are experiencing a period of transition. For instance, counseling before marriage, when becoming parents, or when one partner is going through a significant career change can help keep a relationship strong in the face of increased stress.

How Does Therapy Work?

Therapy is a very individual process, so each person’s experience will vary depending on their treatment goals and circumstances. However, there are some common features you can expect. In your initial appointment, your potential therapist will ask about what brings you to therapy and what you’re hoping to get out of it. They’ll also explain their approach so you can determine if it sounds like the right fit for you. If you have any questions, be sure to ask them. Your therapist will want you to understand how treatment works so you can feel comfortable with the process.

The amount of time you will spend in therapy or the number of sessions you may have will be different depending on the therapeutic approach, your mental health concerns, and other individual factors. Your therapist may also assign “homework”—for example, journaling or exercises to do outside of the office—to support the work you do during your sessions.

How Do I Find a Therapist?

When looking for a therapist, many people rely on word of mouth or the recommendations of friends and family. Sometimes this works, but it may not be successful unless your mental health needs and goals are similar to those of the person making the referral. Online directories of providers can also be difficult to navigate, as they often provide limited information about services and may not give you a good sense of what to expect.

At the SF Stress and Anxiety Center, we know it can be hard to find a therapist to meet your specific needs. That’s why our process starts with a free question-and-answer call with one of our compassionate Care Coordinators to help match you to one of our more than 40 licensed psychologists and counselors. We offer in-person therapy at our various California locations or online sessions via a secure, HIPAA-compliant platform.

Don’t wait to make a positive change. To find the right therapist to help you meet your mental health goals, schedule your free introductory phone consultation with SF Stress today.

Healthy New Year’s Resolutions for Your Mental Health

Posted on February 1, 2023 by SF Stress & Anxiety Center

The start of a new year is a natural time to take stock of our lives and decide to make positive changes going forward. Often these insights lead us to set New Year’s resolutions around the goals we’d like to achieve: Lose weight. Exercise more. Eat healthier food. Save more money.

While physical health and finances are typical topics of such resolutions, after the turmoil of the last few years, more people recognize mental health and wellbeing as a priority in the upcoming year. According to a Forbes Health / One Poll survey conducted in November 2022, 45% of respondents cited an improvement in mental health as one of their top New Year’s resolutions.

Just as familiar as setting New Year’s resolutions, however, is the idea that most of those resolutions are doomed to fail. That may make you hesitate to set a goal, but it isn’t entirely accurate. Readiness to change is vital to the success of any resolution, so if you find yourself inspired to do things differently in 2023, you’ve already made a significant step in the right direction. You can also improve your odds by considering how you make your mental health resolutions for the new year. Here are some tips to help set yourself up for success.

How You Set Your Goals Matters

Before you choose what aspect of your mental health you want to focus on, it helps to consider that how you set your resolution up can influence its likelihood of success. First, choose realistic goals. Small, sustainable actions that can be maintained over the long term are more likely to lead to lasting change than trying to make dramatic alterations all at once.

Try to set specific goals with concrete steps. While setting a vague goal can feel more flexible, it can also make it difficult to assess whether you’re making progress or to feel like you’re doing enough. For example, if you want to practice gratitude, your goal could be jotting down one or two things you feel grateful for in a journal at the same time each day. Keeping the action simple and attainable will help you build and maintain positive habits.

Most importantly, you should approach your goals with the knowledge that setbacks will happen. Perfection is not necessary to make progress—to use the example above, if you missed a day (or three) of journaling because work was overwhelming, the answer is to pick up again when you can, not quit.

New Year Mental Health Tips

It’s one thing to know that you want to improve your mental health in the new year, but another to know where to start. Some simple suggestions to try include:

Paying attention to the way you talk to yourself. People can develop a tendency to judge themselves harshly. Listen to the things you tell yourself internally—would you talk to a friend that way? If not, try to replace negative thoughts with more kind, forgiving words.

Limiting screen time. With current news and social media always at our fingertips, it can be hard to limit exposure even when it stresses us out. However, putting your phone and computer away, especially before bedtime, is essential for allowing ourselves to decompress from consuming a steady diet of bad news or comparing ourselves unfairly to other people’s highly curated versions of their lives.

Taking care of your body. Mental and physical health are linked, so making positive changes for your physical wellbeing can help improve your state of mind. This can be as simple as going for a short walk each day, going to bed a half hour earlier to get more sleep, or adding a serving of fruit or vegetables to your diet.

Reaching out to a mental health professional. If you’re suffering from anxiety and depression, your own efforts to boost your mental health in the past haven’t been successful, or you’re just feeling stuck, the right therapist can be a catalyst for positive change. You don’t have to wait until things feel out of control to benefit from an impartial listener who can give you a new perspective and techniques to promote better mental health.

Individualized, Convenient Therapy

At the San Francisco Stress and Anxiety Center, we know that anxiety and stress impact every facet of your life. We offer accessible therapy in person or online to fit your busy lifestyle. Our evidence-based treatment helps you meet your goals with research-tested, structured, proven interventions. If you’re ready to make your New Year’s resolution for better mental health stick, schedule a free introductory phone consultation with an SF Stress Care Coordinator to get started.

6 Tips for Surviving the Quarantine With Your Partner

Posted on December 29, 2022December 29, 2022 by SF Stress & Anxiety Center

If you live with a partner coronavirus quarantine isn’t just about managing your own needs and anxieties. It’s about finding a way to coexist with someone and all of their needs and anxieties, every minute of every day in a confined space for an undisclosed amount of time. If you think that should be easy because you already live together and love one another, you’re wrong, and you know it.

For some couples, being stuck inside together in their own little bubble for a few weeks sounds like a dream come true. But for other couples, this could be their worst nightmare. If you’re feeling stressed out about the impact of coronavirus on your relationship, know that you’re not alone, and your nervous reaction to being quarantined with your partner is normal. Even for the strongest couples, spending every waking minute of the day together (and night times too) can really throw any incompatibilities into sharp focus.

Here are some tips to help your union survive and thrive during the quarantine.

TALK TO EACH OTHER

Communication is essential for a happy relationship on a good day, and all the more so during times of distress.

Venting about life and the current circumstances in the world is a great way to de-stress and connect with your partner. You will no doubt feel comforted by their love and support while you express yourself.

Just remember that dwelling on negative subjects can bring down morale and may cause your partner unnecessary stress, so don’t forget to communicate about the positives in your life as well. And when talking, be aware that listening is just as important. Take this time to learn how to really hear each other.

CREATE A SCHEDULE

Most of us rely on schedules for a sense of stability and even to combat things like anxiety and depression. So, without our normal 9-to-5 routines, tempers might already be a little frayed.

Try minimizing conflicts by creating a rough schedule to add some structure to your days together. Create new routines to give life meaning and purpose beyond the mundane. It can be helpful to assign roles for each day: who cooks, who cleans, who is on diaper duty, and so on. Depending on both of your work styles and requirements, understanding what each other’s days look like can help foresee any issues and areas where you can compromise.

SHOW RESPECT AND KINDNESS

It’s tempting to barge into your partner’s office when you have an interesting thought and know for a fact he or she is in there but do so respectfully. Knock on the door, check if they are busy, and ask if they have time to talk for a minute.

You and your partner may not always be on the same page during this quarantine and that’s okay Remember to show some respect to your partner’s work, personal space, and indulgences before invading.

We are all trying to figure out this “new normal”, and our daily habits and priorities are bound to change as we adjust. Be patient with your partner.

FIND NEW THINGS TO DO TOGETHER

One of the biggest strains on your relationship is going to be boredom, stuck in the same place with little outside distraction.

If you’re in lockdown, you’re probably seeing a lot more of your partner than ever before – so it’s important to find new things to do together. Share in each other’s passions, cook a new cuisine together, start a DIY project together, enjoy the extra time in bed to try something new, write a list of all the things you’re going to do as a couple when this uncertainty eventually ends. There are tons of ways to make some happy memories and keep your spirits high while you’re safe at home. Look at this as an opportunity to grow closer. Making memories now could be stories you share forever.

SPEND TIME ALONE

Part of a healthy relationship is being able to spend time by yourself. Couples don’t have to be together 24/7 – even during a lockdown! Take time to do the things you want to do. Practice your own hobbies, keep in contact with friends and family, journal, exercise alone and practice solo self-care.

When you feel a little suffocated and want some peace and quiet to binge a show or nap without judgement, calmly give your partner a smile and say, “I’m going to head to the bedroom for some quiet time. Could you give me an hour or two alone?” A smile lets them know that this is for your sanity, not because of them, and adding a clear time frame lets them know you are serious and helps you both create boundaries during your time in separate corners.

This will help you to feel connected with yourself which, in turn, will make you a better person for your partner to be around. It’s healthy to take your me-time, even if you’re isolating together.

GIVE GRACE

Give yourself, and your partner, some grace during this unknown and anxious time. When anxiety and stress are heightened, our cortisol levels skyrocket and we can easily ‘snap’ at our spouse. When arguments occur, always follow through with repair work together. Own your emotions and your actions and leave room for grace with each other.

We have the ability to create a narrative of this chapter in our life. When you look back in a few years at this time in your life, how do you want to tell this story? How do you want to say this chapter in your life formed you individually and in your relationship?

We can choose to view this time as challenging or suffocating; or, we can choose to view this time as a time for internal reflection, relational building and learning, and intimate connection. This time in our world is new and unknown. We are all figuring this out together. We need the ongoing support from those around us to make it through.

We have couples therapists available to you if you and your partner wan to talk to a professional and make sure any issues don’t get worse. Feel free to reach out to us today.

How to Make Sure Social Distancing and Self-Isolation Don’t Hurt Your Mental Health

Posted on December 29, 2022December 29, 2022 by SF Stress & Anxiety Center

Across the country, people are being asked to work from home, universities are switching to virtual classes and large gatherings are being canceled. These are key strategies to prevent transmission of the coronavirus, but they can come at a social and mental-health cost: furthering our sense of isolation from one another and making us forget that we’re in this together.

As humans we are wired to be social creatures, coming together is often how we cope when a big disaster happens. Now, we’re being told to cope with this… by staying away from each other. Because social contact is such a fundamental human need, we can suffer both mentally and physically without it.

The goal of social distancing these days is to be separated, but not lonely. Here are some ways to remain social and combat loneliness during social distancing.

Make your social life a virtual one

Investing in our relationships is one of the most important things we can do for our physical and emotional health—especially right now. Having close connections boosts our immune system, protects us from chronic health conditions, elevates our mood and helps us cope with stress…the very benefits so many of us are searching for as we shelter ourselves at home.

Instead of rapidly scrolling through though Facebook superficially commenting on posts, make a point to have meaningful interactions with just a few people. Be creative. Download an app you can play with friends, set up a virtual lunch date or ‘happy hour’ with friends or coworkers, even Netflix has an option to watch movies simultaneously with friends. As we are all working to be responsible and keep others at a safe distance, it’s equally important that we find ways to stay connected.

Do Something Comforting

Comfort is useful in coping with depression because it is a form of relief from the symptoms of depression. Feeling comforted means that you feel less of a negative feeling. Finding ways to give yourself comfort even when you are feeling lonely or depressed can help to improve your mental health. Below are some ideas of “comfort measures” that you can take even if you are alone.

Take some time for self-care. Put on a face mask, take a long bath, do what makes you feel pampered
Put on your headphones and listen to music that makes you feel good
Cook healthy comfort food
Revel in the joys of escapism. Give yourself permission to dive into your favorite shows on Netflix that make you smile
Have a cup of herbal tea and give yourself permission to relax even for just a few minutes
Light candles and cuddle up with a pet
Download a mediation app or follow a virtual mediation session

Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. Even amidst a pandemic, it’s okay to put things aside. Taking time to invest in you is important.

Keep your sense of humor

Humor can help you cope. We’re all dealing with a difficult situation that none of us have ever faced before. It can be very challenging trying to adjust to this ‘new normal’ we are currently living in, but a little bit of laughter can make your days not quite so dreary. Life is more pleasurable when you keep positive and enjoy yourself despite the odds.

Keep sending memes to your friends. Don’t stop watching really silly movies. It’s okay to laugh at some parts of your situation, which is unprecedented. It is very easy to be very serious about everything right now. Of course, this is serious. There are people who are sick and people who are dying. But if you look throughout history, the worst situations, the people who get through it feeling best from a mental health standpoint are those who keep their humor.

Distract Yourself

Another way to boost your mental health is to find healthy distractions. This might come in the form of art, watching shows, listening to ebooks, or finding other activities that interest you. Below are some ideas to help.

Take a virtual exercise class
Listen to audiobooks or podcasts on topics you like
Watch TED talks on Youtube about things that interest you
Watch documentaries on topics you’ve wanted to catch up on
Use this time to learn a new language or computer program- there are many free courses available online
Play games that engage your mind such as Sudoku, crossword puzzles, solitaire, or online chess
Organize. A very good way to distract yourself productively is to do something to better organize your life. Cleaning your house can be an incredibly empowering thing to do, especially when you are feeling bad

Stay positive

When the news is mostly doom and gloom—as it has been since the outbreak of the coronavirus— it’s hard for even the most optimistic among us to stay positive.

Although it may seem frivolous to prioritize happiness during a crisis, we will still experience positive moments in our day-to-day lives, and there are several reasons why we should consider embracing those experiences. A positive attitude can go a long way in managing chaotic situations and display some sort of resolve against the odds. Accentuate the positives and focus on what you are able to do during this time.

In times of constant negative messaging, you need an antidote so that you can keep your positive attitude and march forward with determination and hope. Be deliberate in activities that are positive, heartwarming, stress-reducing and laughter-inducing! It’s going to be difficult at times, but we’ll get through this.

How To Shift Your Mindset In A Time Of Crisis

Posted on December 29, 2022December 29, 2022 by SF Stress & Anxiety Center

How to Shift Your Mindset in Times of Crisis

As the spread and far-reaching impacts of Covid-19 dominate the world news, we have all been witnessing and experiencing the parallel spread of worry, anxiety, and instability. While we little control over what is happening in the world, it is important to remember we have complete control over how we respond to it. The one thing we can do no matter the circumstances is take charge and change our mindset.

FOCUS ON OTHERS

Often, an over-focus on a stressor like the coronavirus can result in the narrowing of your perspective. Your lens gets smaller as you think about the immediate term, yourself and your closest relationships. It has been shown that helping others and volunteering contribute to happiness. While we can’t physically be around others there are many ways we can attend to the needs of others. Explore new ways to connect and volunteer virtually or research ways you can help your community while still staying safe. In times of uncertainty, pulling together to help is crucial to our overall health and well-being. The more you contribute in this fashion, the less you’ll need to worry about your own situation. You’ll become a source of confidence and begin to shift your mindset.

FEEL THE FEAR, BUT DON’T ACT FROM FEAR

Fear is a powerful emotion, it tells us something is amiss. Yet it is also a lower functioning part of our brain and can lead to uninspired action. So, take a minute to honor the fear, write about it if so inspired, and question it. Ask yourself what you are really afraid of, look at what the fear is telling you. Feel it in every sense of your body. Be friendly with it. See where it resides. Honor it. Thank it for informing you. Yet then release it. Don’t let it take hold of you. Feel it exit. Wish it well on its way out. And get yourself back to a positive emotional state.

Things may not be as easy as they were. Fear is normal and it is okay to feel. What is important to realize is that these new difficulties will either defeat you or reveal new strengths. Your physical muscles always get stronger from working against resistance. The same is true for the muscles in your mind, your spirit, and your character. Treat this whole period of challenge as a time when you can make your greatest progress as a human being.

SAVOR THE SMALL MOMENTS

This can be really challenging especially at a time like now. It can be difficult to not focus on what we’ve lost. In addition to the tragic losses of life and health and jobs are the losses experienced by people of all ages: missed graduations and proms, canceled sports seasons and performances, postponed weddings and vacations, separation from family and friends when we need them most. But even during lockdown, you still have many small moments to savor. The smell of coffee, the feel of the warm shower on your back and so on. When you stop to take in these moments, rather than let them rush by on automatic pilot, you are giving your brain a chance to process the pleasure, which boosts your serotonin – the feel good neurotransmitter that helps elevate your mood and make you feel calm.

FOCUS ON YOUR TODAY

Stay present. We are freaking out about the virus because we are worried about the future, and possibly regretting the past. Yet we know this doesn’t keep us stay hopeful. Watch your mind wandering, exposure to news, and keep track of who you connect with and how you are feeling in that connection. Engage your senses to stay grounded. When you find your anxiety increasing, take a deep, slow inhale and notice what you smell. Get out in nature (if possible) and feel your feet on the earth. When we get in our head, we are generally unhappy and definitely not hopeful (hope requires positive feelings and inspired actions). Know what you can control, and what you can’t, and leave the rest behind.

That control part is key. Stressful situations are often beyond our control, and we create anxiety and worry when we try to control what we can’t. Focusing on what can be controlled, on the other hand, can decrease these feelings of anxiety.

LEARN TO ACCEPT UNCERTAINTY

To cope with the uncertainty, many of us use worrying as a tool for trying to predict the future and avoid nasty surprises. Worrying can make it seem like you have some control over uncertain circumstances. You may believe that it will help you find a solution to your problems or prepare you for the worst. Maybe if you just agonize over a problem long enough, just think through every possibility, or read every opinion online, you’ll find a solution and be able to control the outcome. Unfortunately, none of this works. Chronic worrying can’t give you more control over uncontrollable events; it just robs you of enjoyment in the present, saps your energy, and keeps you up at night. These steps can help you become more tolerant and accepting of uncertainty.

Identify your uncertainty triggers. A lot of uncertainty tends to be self-generated, through excessive worrying or a pessimistic outlook. Some uncertainty can be generated by external sources, especially at times like this. Reading media stories that focus on worst-case scenarios, spending time on social mediaamid rumors and half-truths, or simply communicating with anxious friends can all fuel your own fears and uncertainties. By recognizing your triggers, you can take action to avoid or reduce your exposure to them.
Recognize when you feel the need for certainty. Notice when you start to feel anxious and fearful about a situation, begin to worry about what-ifs, or feel like a situation is far worse than it actually is. Look for the physical cues that you’re feeling anxious. You might notice the tension in your neck or shoulders, shortness of breath, the onset of a headache, or an empty feeling in your stomach. Take a moment to pause and recognize that you’re craving reassurance or a guarantee.
Allow yourself to feel the uncertainty. Instead of engaging in futile efforts to gain control over the uncontrollable, let yourself experience the discomfort of uncertainty. Like all emotions, if you allow yourself to feel fear and uncertainty, they will eventually pass.
Let go. Respond to the what-ifs running through your head by acknowledging that you’re not a fortune teller; you don’t know what will happen. All you can do is let go and accept the uncertainty as part of life.
Shift your attention. Focus on solvable worries, taking action on those aspects of a problem that you can control, or simply go back to what you were doing. When your mind wanders back to worrying or the feelings of uncertainty return, refocus your mind on the present moment and your own breathing.

REMEMBER: YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS

When you’re feeling anxious, tell yourself it’s a normal part of being human. It’s important to understand that we are not our thoughts. Thoughts may come into your head for a whole bunch of reasons. By accepting that they are not facts, thoughts lose some of their power to upset us.

Try writing down the words that are going through your head, especially when you’re in a tough situation. Then read them back as if someone else had written them. This can help you to realize that your thoughts aren’t you, and to accept them for what they are: just thoughts.

DO THE BEST YOU CAN…IT REALLY IS ENOUGH

This is scary. I know some of you are worried about your family’s income. Some of you are worried about losing your home or your cars. Some of you are scared you’re going to lose your businesses or that you won’t be able to put food on the table. These are all very natural and fair things to worry about. Shifting your mindset won’t change your circumstances, but it can help you get through the day. Do the best you can. Remind yourself that some days are going to be harder than others, and don’t dwell on the things you could have gotten done or should have done differently. Instead, try to focus on the more positive moments throughout your day.

How to Look After Your Mental Health When the News Feels Overwhelming

Posted on December 29, 2022December 29, 2022 by SF Stress & Anxiety Center

Do you have a smartphone? Regularly access news on the internet? Check-in often on your social media accounts like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.?

If you do, you are probably getting ample exposure to the news and media. If you grew up in the age before social media and internet you will remember that your sources for news were from newspapers, radio, and television. Don’t get me wrong, access to media has its benefits. But considering recent tragedies, it’s timely to talk about how to care for yourself during times of national and international tragedy, disaster or crisis.

The next time those horrific headlines have you feeling overwhelmed, consider these seven coping strategies.

Look at the bigger picture

Thanks to the 24-hour news cycle and social media, we’re constantly inundated with horrific headlines, painting vivid pictures of pandemics, death and destruction. But aside from offering “thoughts and prayers” and feeling helpless, what can we do?

If you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed with bad news, try putting the story you’ve just read or the footage you’ve just watched into some form of context. Look for statistics and historical perspectives that help establish the big picture instead of focusing on the gruesome details of the moment.

In other words, there is often comfort to be found in establishing context. The goal is to find the balance between feeling informed and educated on the situation at hand while not becoming totally overwhelmed by it.

Identify ways you can help

Getting upset by reading the news will not change the world around us; change requires action. Use your strong emotional response to those headlines as motivation to explore means by which you can make a difference to those affected by catastrophe. Can you make a donation in the form of time, money, or resources? What kind of aid is needed—not just in the immediate response to the crisis, but in the long-term as well?

Keep in mind, helping can only be healthy once you realize you can’t rescue everyone who’s suffering. Even the most effective activists achieving the greatest change only do so by focusing on a specific issue. We can feel great relief and fortitude when we align our actions with our values in ways both big and small.

Identify ways you can help yourself

Developing and practicing compassionate emotional first-aid is an important part of self-care. When you have heard, watched or read distressing news, it’s easy to fall into a rabbit hole, follow the related links, read the incendiary comments and allow that distress to snowball until you feel physically sick. Alternatively, you could acknowledge this pattern, take a breath and invest your attention elsewhere. Try to lose yourself in a good book or call up that friend who always makes you feel warm and comfortable. Develop a habit of regular meditation, physical activity and journaling—documenting your feelings by putting pen to paper. It’s a valuable practice that allows us to see the structure of our thoughts and ultimately, edit our thinking—an integral part of shifting our perspectives. According to Buddha, “If your compassion doesn’t include yourself, it is incomplete.”

Check the facts

When we read a horrific news story online, we all too rarely stop to ask ourselves who’s doing the reporting. Is it a reputable and reliable news source? Can you fact-check it against other credible sources? We often have a knee-jerk reaction to share news that reaffirms our own hopes, fears and belief systems without cross-referencing them for accuracy. For the sake of your own mental health (not to mention the well-being those around you), it’s important to develop a critical eye when it comes to evaluating news sources—especially before you decide to contribute to their reach by sharing them on your social media channels. Remember: Truth is the story that emerges from joining the facts. The more facts you have, the closer you are to the truth of the matter.

Disconnect

It’s hard, but sometimes you’ve just got to step away from the smartphone. An important strategy in coping with bad news is to limit your exposure—and that often means disconnecting. It doesn’t mean you don’t care; it’s more about ensuring balance and giving yourself the opportunity to recharge. With the world in a state of uncertainty, gathering information is one way to feel in control. But overconsuming the news—especially bad news—may not be doing your mental state any favors. There’s still a great deal of kindness in the world, and you’re more likely to experience it in a meaningful way firsthand than you are through a screen.

Understand the difference between sympathy and empathy

While the two words are often incorrectly used interchangeably, the difference in their emotional impact is important. Empathy, as the ability to actually feel what another person is feeling — literally “walk a mile in their shoes” — goes beyond sympathy, a simple expression of concern for another person’s misfortune.

Caring for others in times of need is one of the unique and beautiful acts of being human. There are a variety of ways in which we can achieve this, and the ways we do this have a huge impact on the degree of social connection we experience. By understanding differences between empathy vs sympathy, we can more effectively respond to the struggles of others.

Look for the positive

When it feels as though a barrage of bad news can reach us all too easily, we sometimes need to make an effort to find positive news. This can help counteract news-related anxiety. While we may feel that it is our responsibility to understand what is going wrong in the world so that we can find a way to fix it, it is also very important to find out what is going well so that we feel motivated, hopeful, and uplifted.

Gratitude is a powerful way of finding balance in the midst of our own personal storms and of the bad news storms we often find ourselves in the midst of in recent days. By focusing our attention on feeling thankful for good news, it not only changes our perspective but also expands what we feel grateful for.

Taking steps to minimize stress during these difficult times is essential for both your physical and mental health. While watching the news can provide you with critical information about protecting yourself and others, taking in too much information can be overwhelming and detrimental to your mental health. Unfortunately, we can’t control what goes on in the world around us, but we can have some control over the way we react to it.

How To Make The Most Out Of Teletherapy

Posted on December 29, 2022December 29, 2022 by SF Stress & Anxiety Center

Talking with a mental health professional is beneficial for a countless number of reasons. Not only does it help with very real issues like depression, trauma, and anxiety, but it can be extremely useful in periods of acute stress ― which many are experiencing right now given the current events.

With social distancing and self-isolation, therapists all over the country have had to cloe their office doors and find new ways to serve their clients. That’s why teletherapy is becoming more crucial than ever.

Research suggests that teletherapy is just as effective as in-person therapy and will allow you to get support while following any social distancing guidelines or quarantine restrictions.

If there was ever a time for online therapy, we’re living in it right now. Whether you’re a regular client or just trying therapy for the first time here are some tips on how to use teletherapy to your advantage and get ready for your first session.

Know that it’ll be an adjustment

If you’re used to going to your therapist’s office, suddenly opening up to them on your bed or in your kitchen might be a little strange. If this is your first time, you may not know how to share your feelings with a new face over video chat. All of this is completely normal. A positive perspective is that you may be able to feel even more comfortable to dig deep during your sessions, given you will likely be in your own home or space.

Get dressed and treat it like you’re going to a normal appointment

The best results will come if you treat teletherapy like any other appointment.

This might mean going to a different room or area of your house or putting on certain clothes that would make it feel more like a typical appointment to you. This will allow you to get in a head space that is different, especially if you are in your house right now a lot more than you usually are.

Treat it like regular therapy if possible ― even if this was not the intended or preferred method of communication ― means working with your therapists on goals, figuring out if any of those goals need to be changed or altered given the current stressors, and continuing to make progress towards them.

Prepare your environment and equipment

Before your appointment check that laptop, tablet, or phone are charged with a good webcam and audio connection. If you can, have your device plugged in and charging during your session. Earphones or headphones can help to prevent sound echoing and to allow you to fully focus on the conversation with your therapist.

Set up your space. Check your internet connection, and make sure your space is set up comfortably 15 minutes or so before your appointment. You might sit on a chair in front of a desk or table, or if you’re seated on the ground, a meditation cushion can be a grounding option. As you’re setting up, take this time to start quieting your mind and shift your attention from work, kids, or other commitments to therapy and healing. Try to minimize distractions as much as possible.

Use your first session to establish what you want to accomplish.

For those who typically go to therapy in person, your first teletherapy appointment is a good time to check in on your goals and progress. If you’re new to therapy entirely, expect your first session to lay out what you want to achieve with the process.

Getting started can often be the hardest part, but it may provide some comfort if you can know what to expect going into your first session. Therapists will start each session by making sure you feel comfortable, before working collaboratively with you to formulate a treatment plan and review different methods to help you address your needs.

Issues You May Want to Address

If you’re meeting with a therapist online because you’re social distancing, you may have coronavirus-related issues to address.

Here are some examples:

How can I manage my mental health when I’ve reduced my social contact?
What can I do about my anxiety surrounding the coronavirus?
Now that I’m spending more time at home, what steps do I need to take to stay as mentally healthy as possible?
Are there specific exercises or strategies I can use to build mental strength?
How should I talk to my kids about the coronavirus?
What can I do about my financial stress during this time?

Look at teletherapy as a way to help with socializing while social distancing.

Think of online therapy as a way to get some connection and understanding in an environment that otherwise feels isolating right now.

Humans are social beings. People need people. Feelings of anxiety, fear, and isolation are extremely common in this type of situation, and teletherapy is an optimal solution to help individuals manage their mental health and stay connected with the care you might need. Online therapy can also help you nurture your current relationships from a distance.

Our significant relationships with others and our emotional connections with others will help get us through this very difficult time. Social connections are vital during periods of intense stress like this one, and a therapist can help you keep your relationships strong when you’re physically apart.

Remind yourself that therapy is extremely beneficial right now

We’re dealing with something none of us imagined. It’s okay to feel a range of emotions. Therapy can help you navigate that.

These are uncertain and unusual times, and the situation is unprecedented. A significant number of us are stressed, anxious or just unsettled given the current situation. It’s important to know that these feelings are normal and to be expected. Understand that this situation will pass eventually, but in the meantime, focus on being kind to yourself. If you need additional support or personal connection, it’s there.

Online therapy can be an empowering and accessible way to take care of your mental health, especially during times when it’s not feasible to make a trip to your therapist’s office. And just like in-person therapy, if you are committed to making the most of your therapy time, it can be a rewarding experience with long-term benefits.

If you are interested in getting started with teletherapy with one of our clinicains, please don’t hesitate to reach out.