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Month: August 2022

What Can Therapy Do? Find your compassion to tell a new version of the story

Posted on by SF Stress & Anxiety Center

Understanding the Impact of Therapy

Therapy is a powerful tool that helps individuals shift their perspectives, understand personal patterns, and foster self-compassion. Many people struggle with self-judgment and negative self-talk, often influenced by the brain’s natural negativity bias. Therapy provides a safe space to challenge these thought patterns, creating a new and more compassionate narrative about past experiences.

The Brain’s Negativity Bias and Its Effect on Self-Perception

Our brains are wired to focus on negative experiences more than positive ones. This evolutionary mechanism once helped humans survive threats but now contributes to anxiety, self-doubt, and distorted self-perceptions. For example, a performance review highlighting strengths and one minor criticism might lead someone to fixate solely on the criticism, reinforcing negative self-beliefs. Therapy helps reframe these perspectives, allowing individuals to see the full picture rather than focusing solely on the negative.

How Compassion Changes the Narrative

Compassion is a key element in reshaping personal narratives. Imagine a working parent juggling responsibilities who feels guilty for occasional tardiness in meetings. Therapy can guide this individual to acknowledge the broader context—balancing work and parenting—rather than labeling themselves as unreliable. By applying the same understanding we extend to others to ourselves, therapy enables a healthier and more accurate self-view.

Reinterpreting Past Experiences Through Therapy 

A common source of emotional distress is how we interpret past decisions. Many people look back on choices with regret or self-judgment. For example, quitting an activity in adolescence might be viewed as failure rather than a necessary transition. Therapy helps individuals reframe such events, recognizing growth and adaptation rather than focusing on perceived shortcomings. This process can alleviate long-held guilt and promote emotional well-being.

The Cleansing Power of Forgiveness

Self-forgiveness is essential for mental and emotional health. Many people judge their past actions with the knowledge they have today, leading to unnecessary guilt and shame. Therapy fosters self-forgiveness by guiding individuals to view past decisions with the understanding that they did the best they could at the time. This shift reduces self-criticism and promotes healing, allowing individuals to move forward with greater self-acceptance.

Revisiting the Past with a Therapist’s Guidance 

Therapists act as compassionate guides, helping clients process unresolved emotions and reframe painful memories. Unlike ruminating alone, therapy provides a structured and supportive environment to explore past experiences. Through techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and narrative therapy, individuals can reconstruct their personal histories in a way that fosters growth rather than reinforcing self-doubt.

 

Frequently Asked Questions About Therapy

What can therapy help with?
Therapy can address anxiety, depression, self-esteem issues, relationship challenges, trauma, and life transitions. It provides tools to manage emotions, improve communication, and cultivate self-awareness.

How long does therapy take to be effective?
The effectiveness of therapy varies from person to person. Some individuals notice changes within a few sessions, while others benefit from long-term support depending on their goals and challenges.

What if I don’t feel comfortable with my therapist?
Building trust with a therapist takes time, but if you feel uncomfortable, it’s important to communicate your concerns or consider switching to a professional who better aligns with your needs.

Can therapy change how I view past events?
Yes, therapy can help reframe past experiences, allowing for a more compassionate and balanced perspective that reduces guilt, shame, and self-blame.

 

Connecting with SF Stress & Anxiety Center

If you’re struggling with self-judgment or painful past experiences, therapy can help you create a more compassionate and empowering narrative. The licensed professionals at SF Stress & Anxiety Center specialize in helping individuals gain clarity, develop self-compassion, and build healthier thought patterns.

Take the first step toward a new perspective. Contact SF Stress & Anxiety Center today to schedule a session with a qualified therapist who can help you rewrite your story in a way that fosters growth and emotional well-being.

What is Toxic Positivity and How to Handle It

Posted on by SF Stress & Anxiety Center

What is Toxic Positivity?

Generally, positive thinking is beneficial to your mental health. However, toxic positivity is an exception. Positive thinking can become toxic if you ignore negative emotions and pretend everything is fine. Imagine it as a temporary bandage that covers but does not heal emotional wounds. Ignoring your true feelings can do more harm than good to your mental health.

Toxic Positivity Examples

It’s not always easy to recognize toxic positivity in yourself or others, but you’ve probably run across some common phrases encouraging you to minimize negative emotions. Think about how these common sayings might fuel toxic positivity.

  • It could be worse. While this popular catch-all phrase is often true, saying “Things could be worse” could unintentionally come off as insensitive. Consider saying, “I’m ready to listen” or “I’m here for you” and asking how you can help.
  • Happiness is a choice. While some aspects of happiness can be managed, everyone experiences emotions differently. You may not always be able to choose happiness when you have a mental illness like depression or are dealing with grief after a traumatic loss.
  • Positive thoughts/vibes only. Those who use toxic positivity may ask you to surrender all your negative thoughts and only be positive for their benefit. Both positive and negative feelings are equally valuable. You use your emotions to understand your needs, safety, and desires.
  • Things will get better soon. Layoffs and financial stress can trigger anxiety and destroy self-esteem. Don’t forget to acknowledge the present challenge and validate someone’s emotions when you reassure them of a brighter future.

Why is Toxic Positivity Harmful?

  • It undermines emotions. Positive thinking and optimism at the expense of difficult emotions are not always good for our mental health. People who practice toxic positivity ignore contentious issues in their relationships and instead focus on the positive. When people are pressured to smile in the face of adversity, they are less likely to seek support out of fear and embarrassment.
  • It can come across as insensitive. Bereaved individuals who often receive reminders to move on or be cheerful may believe that others are indifferent to their loss. Telling people who are struggling to focus on positive thinking and a bright future is unhelpful in relieving their suffering.
  • It can cause guilt and shame. Toxic optimism encourages people to suppress or dismiss unpleasant emotions to feel more in control. A person may believe they are failing if they are unable to feel happy. This is a typical example of toxic positivity: you share your problem with someone, and they tell you to look on the bright side of it.
  • It’s not in our nature to be overly positive all the time. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Humans are pessimistic by nature. It’s an evolutionary adaptation. Humans are wired to constantly look for danger. Our ancestors survived by using this negativity-based survival mechanism.

Avoiding Toxic Positivity

  • Be honest about your emotions. Pay attention to how you truly feel. It’s normal to feel different emotions at the same time, and it’s important to honor and accept them. For example, it’s possible to experience joy and grief at the same time.
  • Minimize your exposure to toxic positivity. It’s important to surround yourself with positive people. However, spending too much time with people who are fluent in toxic positivity can be problematic—set boundaries with people who shame you for expressing your authentic emotions.
  • Take a break from social media. On social media, toxic positivity manifests itself by pressuring you to share the best version of yourself. Next time you browse social media, consider others’ posts as highlights rather than a play-by-play. Even your favorite celebrities and social media influencers experience negative emotions. Consider taking a break if social media brings on more negative than positive emotions.

Approaching toxic positivity

It is human nature not to want to see a loved one suffer emotional pain. Consider your approach when you initiate a conversation or respond to someone’s concerns.

  • Welcome all emotions. Each person’s feelings are unique. Recognize that it’s okay to experience negative emotions. In the event that you or someone else is using toxic positivity to cope with negative emotions, encourage them to speak freely.
  • Listen and validate how others feel. In the heat of the moment, you may feel tempted to offer a quick fix or say whatever you can to make someone feel better. However, that approach may make them feel ignored, unheard, or upset. Some people just want an open ear instead of advice or an immediate solution. Listening to others who are facing a difficult situation can help them feel heard and understood. Be mindful, avoid judgment, and give them your full attention.
  • Don’t shame others or yourself. Toxic positivity can lead to mental health stigma, which can make people hesitate to seek mental health treatment. Respect others’ emotions and learn how you can help stop mental health stigma

and support others.

When to Seek Support for Toxic Positivity

Although overcoming negative situations can build resilience, asking for and accepting help is okay. Whenever you find yourself using toxic positivity, drugs, or alcohol to cope with stress, anxiety, depression, or other concerns, consider seeking profession

al mental health support. When you’re ready, you can connect with a mental health  consultant in person or virtually. We have therapists who are skilled at helping you deal with these issues, so you can receive the support you need. Contact us today to schedule a free call with our Care-Coordinator: we’ll get to know each other and see if we can help!